Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!

Time to pick the PoV players. It'll be HoH Matt and nominees Kathy and Andrew, who draw the names of Brendon (the Brigade, mentally: "argh"), Lane, and Rachel (the Brigade, mentally: "ARGH!"), respectively. Nice orchestrating, Matt. He DRs that "The plan to backdoor Brendon is in serious jeopardy." That's because the plan was shite from the get-go.

Up in the HoH room, Matt and Lane bemoan their lack of luck and how they always seem to stumble into their worst-case scenario, listing off all of the other names that would have been better picks (i.e., all of them). "We can still win it," Lane says. "Give me some Pop Rocks!" The conclusion of all this: "Green apple isn't very good." And this is the alliance that hopes to run the house.

In the storage room, Matt assures Andrew that the plan is to get Brendon out. Andrew wonders what the plan is if Brendon wins PoV, and Matt says Kathy will have to go. "[Matt's] plan is blowing up in my face," Andrew DRs, and tells Matt that they're screwed if Brendon or Rachel wins.

On PoV day, Matt, Enzo, and Lane joke about the science-based competition that's probably in the offing, given their run of bad luck against the alleged scientists they've been trying to get rid of. Then they get distracted by the monitor showing Andrew praying while wearing a prayer shawl. Lane quite seriously DRs that the nice thing about being on Big Brother is getting to learn about other cultures, like how Jewish people pray in "ninja outfits." Oy. Vey. The Brigade pins their hopes on Andrew winning so they can backdoor Brendon. Good luck to them with that, because they're nothing if not lucky.

Lane talks about wanting to open up a drive-in liquor store. That turns into a discussion about driving around with guns in the truck, getting drunk, and shooting at eyes in the dark, a practice called "spotlighting." If nothing else, Texas is a slightly safer place this summer.

Oh, here we go. Enzo, chosen by Matt as the host for the PoV competition, enters the living room in a cheesy genie outfit and leads everyone out to the back yard. It's one of those things with random items laid out for everyone to study for ten minutes. They start counting, although Matt the genius says that he's not so great at counting. That's more of a "Rain Man" thing, he says. But not to worry, his alliance-mate Lane is quite astounded at the sight of a horse with "a horn grow[ing]out of its forehead." Oh, the Brigade has this in the bag.

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Big Brother




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