Big Brother
Almost Over

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Been There, Seen That

So despite not being HoH or the Veto holder, Dan managed to make this last week play out exactly the way he wanted, manipulating Danielle (who was HoH and the Veto holder) into saving him and then making her watch while he cast the sole vote to evict her showmance, Shane, after promising that Shane would join them in the final three. Now it's Ian, Dan, and Danielle, the latter of whom has just become possibly the angriest member of the final three ever.

Danielle drips tears and mascara on her eviction-night dress as she sobs about Dan lying to her again, and Ian is shell-shocked, even though he benefited from Dan's move. On Shane's way out, we saw that Dan whispered to Shane, "Dude, she's been playing you the whole time. Ask Jenn." Yes, Dan's thinking about how he's going to get any jury votes from people he's been stabbing in the back all season, hence that little tidbit. But Dan's also confident that both Danielle and Ian would take him to the final two.

Well, that's if he can salvage things with Danielle. We saw on Thursday night that Danielle was pretty mad at him in the arcade room, but Dan's confident he can bullshit his way out of trouble with her one more time. Not if she finds out on finale night what he said to Shane, he can't. But of course she won't, because even if Shane gets a chance to tell her, he wasn't paying attention anyway.

Meanwhile, Ian's still wandering the house, panting and quacking in some kind of post-traumatic excitement. Dan continues making self-serving excuses to Danielle, who for once isn't letting him off the hook. "How do I know he's not gonna do that to me?" she Diary-Rooms. Danielle says she feels terrible, and Dan tells her that's why they make a good team: he doesn't. Is he actually talking his way out of this? "Fool me three times, I'm a dumb-ass," she DRs, paraphrasing my weecap title from Thursday night.

Danielle wonders to Dan how she's supposed to trust him, as accomplished a liar as he is. "I'm not proud of that," he lies. See? He's still doing it! And Ian is now talking himself up while he paces the entire rest of the abandoned house. Dan promises Danielle that there's no more stunts for him to pull, and that it's them all the way to the end. She seems to be buying it, but she's finally learning -- in the DR, she says that she's only pretending to trust Dan. Okay, good for her. About two months too late, but whatever.

So now that the fallout from Thursday has been dealt with, we get to finally start the final-three mimosa banquet clip show. Dan, Danielle, and Ian gather around the table to celebrate and spout awkward dialogue to set up the playbacks. Dan sucks up to the two of them while Danielle is supposedly secretly plotting her revenge, but is in fact acting as the producers' tool to launch the retrospective.

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Big Brother

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