Speaking of abortive showmances, Ian recalls his slop date with Ashley back on Day 9, and so do the editors, at considerable length. It's not any less awkward the second time around. In the present, Dan asks Ian about whether he thinks Ashley would have ultimately chosen him over Frank, and after Ian says he thinks so, we're back at Day 52, when Ian verbally took on a carrot-suited Frank after Ashley's departure. So let's watch that fight again too, shall we? Actually, let's not. Maybe we should skip right to the America's Vote segment, when we're invited to text a vote for our favorite player of the season to win $25,000. Or maybe we should skip that too.
Time to wrap up the clip show from the living room, a space whose significance Dan speechifies unconvincingly about. Danielle recalls Dan's funeral on Day 51, in which Dan emotionally sucked up to everyone else but Danielle, whom he hideously sandbagged while everyone was still crying. Finally, two wrap up this always-painful segment, Ian says that only one Quack Packer can win and proposes a toast: "May the best duck win." They drink to that.
But the episode isn't over yet, because the first part of the final HoH competition is about to begin. It's nighttime and the backyard looks like a forest, with the pool made up like a pond with giant fishhooks dangling over it. Ian reads the card that tells them that the winner of the HoH competition picks the person who will join them in the final two, and all of them are eligible to compete for this one. It's simple enough; the last person holding onto their fishhook wins part one.
They climb onto their hooks, which soon carry them across the yard, dunk them into the pool up to their noses like a trio of teabags, and then swing back across to bang them against a padded wall like three groaning wrecking balls. Dan DRs that he's been stabling a lot of people in the back all season, and is willing to do it one more time to make it to the final two. As for Danielle, she DRs that Dan shouldn't get too comfortable, because "It might be time for you to get blindsided." That would teach him, wouldn't it? No, it totally wouldn't. The competition continues, with more banging and more dunking and now even a hard rain for good measure. This one could last minutes. Which is kind of too bad, because after a summer of punishment at the hands of these people and their former housemates, I'm ready to watch them take some more of their own.