Big Brother
Amber Waves Goodbye

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now!
Amber Waves Goodbye

America's Player. America wants Eric to get Amber out. I can't say I disagree. She probably needs to be treated for dehydration by now, among MANY other things.

In the HoH, Eric confronts Jessica about the supposed conversation about Amber's boyfriend. Eric can tell that Jessica's covering up something, and she caves pretty quickly, telling him how Amber was running him down -- including that Eric will never win an HoH because he's scared that pictures of his on-again, off-again girlfriend will cock-block him with Jessica. Eric is offended that Amber is trying to play Jessica and Eric off against each other, and in order to impeach her testimony, he reminds Jessica that Amber was a drug addict, and yet is passing herself off as one of the "good people." He goes on some more, saying that Jessica is only defending Amber now because she's kissing Jessica's ass this week. Jessica surmises, "You want her to go home, don't you." Eric intones that she will go home, and Jessica sighs that she knows. Eric is kind of pouty by now, and Jessica mopes that she was just telling him what Amber said, and that Amber was just looking out for her. Eric: "What a bitch." Eh, you're all bitches.

Sometime later, Eric and Jessica catch up with Dick. He truthfully relays Zach's plan in the event that he wins HoH, and Eric dismissively says that's a "good plan," adding that Zach had told him pretty much the opposite about Dick and Daniele. Dick's face falls, but he recovers by swearing and blustering. I'm glad he's switched to violent gesticulation toward the absent Zach, since it stops him picking at a zit or something on his stomach. Gah, he is so GROSS.

And I mention Julie's throw to commercials here because she says we'll be finding out about the OTHER woman in Eric's life, and learning whether he's "America's Player, or America's Playa." And I mean she really punches the "a." Take it easy, Julie. Don't take your hip lessons from Mike Boogie.

After commercials, it's time for Julie to talk to the houseguests. They can't hear her at first, but then (unfortunately) the situation is remedied. Remember when they all got naked for the luxury competition? That was fun for Jessica. Remember when Daniele found out she could have seen Nick if she hadn't sucked so bad at Power Of 10? What would she have said to him? "1-5-3," says Daniele, complete with hand gestures -- because as we learned when Nick sent her that fucking bedazzled letter last week, the two of them are high-school sophomores. In her usual soulless way, Daniele grins and giggles through answering that she kind of wishes she'd never found out that he'd been there, and refuses to tell Julie what "1-5-3" means, which is probably for the best, because it would undoubtedly be extremely queer. Remember when Amber went on Power Of 10 and also sucked? She is ridiculous as always as she says she initially thought that going for $100,000 instead of taking $10,000 was "selfish" (not the same as "greedy" -- could someone please explain that to her?), but that she assumed she was put in that position for a reason -- of course -- and now she has no regrets about the "experience of a lifetime" that apparently taught her a lot. And then, there's a montage of Dick spitting. A viewer wants to know why he spits so much. He doesn't know, or doesn't want to say it's because his mouth tastes foul all the time from his constant smoking. Also because of his general grossness.

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Big Brother




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