Big Brother
Big Brother

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 570 USERS: C+
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And Then There Were Four

Tuesday. Blee blah blee blah blee. "The [Hardly tower] will crumble eventually. I want to be around for that," It'sOnica says. "Two-point conversion. Horseradish."

Hardly repeats that Will isn't as big a thre-- whatever. Seriously, how many times has he said that? From now on, I'm just going to block out Hardly's dull strategic blather.

Bunky tells the camera that he doesn't feel a whole lot of love for Hardly, and that he never did! Hardly's too high-maintenance and short-tempered for his taste, he says.

On the patio, Bunky asks Nicole whether he's on his last week in the Big Brother house. She won't say. The best part of this conversation is a flashback to Will, blindfolded, running into things in the house. Ah, Will. I believe that hilarious blow-up doll/luxury challenge was when my love for you truly blossomed.

After Nicole tells Bunky a whole lot of nothing, and then stomps inside the house, Bunky tells It'sOnica that Nicole just wants him to kiss her ass. "I'm not going to do that," he says, dubbing Hardly and Nicole "Bully and the Bitch."

Will, Bunky, and Monica sit in the back yard and stare into space. Bunky and his stiff upper lip remind the other two that they do get the final say; they get to come back and vote.

Luxury challenge time. The housemates are given small foam dolls, which they are instructed to paint like themselves. And Nicole freaks out. She hates arts and crafts, she says. She refuses to paint her doll. "I'm not trying to bitch, but I hate it, I hate it, I hate it," she tells the camera. Good try, there. She spits that she'd rather go out and shave her head bald. She'd rather lie in a pit of snakes. Excellent challenges, all, by the way. I'd love to see Nicole shave her head bald and roll around in a pit of snakes. So Nicole allows Will to paint her doll. And, not surprisingly, Will's version of Nicole is rather unflattering, with a big ass, and stray pubic hair peeking out of her swimsuit. Nicole, naturally, is pissed. Uh, Nicole? You should have done it yourself. Also, have you met Will? Of course he created an ugly, funny doll. It's Will. He has no respect for anything. In the Diary Room, Will describes the doll as "a very angry woman. She has one eye. It's a very a piercing eye. It's used mainly for finding dirty towels on the floor, and it's also used for finding kids who are having a good time, and yelling at them [Will adopts a high, whiny voice, and starts dancing the doll around the Big Blue Chair], 'Pick up your towels, no one's allowed to talk, I'm freaking out about everything, Will, don't have any fun, don't have any fun, don't have any fun.'" Indeed, outside, Nicole is bitching to Hardly about Will. Shoulda just done your own doll, Nicole. In the Diary Room, Will eyes the Nicole doll. "I can't go back out there with this, or she'll kill me," he muses.

Big Brother

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