Big Brother
And Then There Were Four

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Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
And Then There Were Four

Luxury challenge time. The housemates are given small foam dolls, which they are instructed to paint like themselves. And Nicole freaks out. She hates arts and crafts, she says. She refuses to paint her doll. "I'm not trying to bitch, but I hate it, I hate it, I hate it," she tells the camera. Good try, there. She spits that she'd rather go out and shave her head bald. She'd rather lie in a pit of snakes. Excellent challenges, all, by the way. I'd love to see Nicole shave her head bald and roll around in a pit of snakes. So Nicole allows Will to paint her doll. And, not surprisingly, Will's version of Nicole is rather unflattering, with a big ass, and stray pubic hair peeking out of her swimsuit. Nicole, naturally, is pissed. Uh, Nicole? You should have done it yourself. Also, have you met Will? Of course he created an ugly, funny doll. It's Will. He has no respect for anything. In the Diary Room, Will describes the doll as "a very angry woman. She has one eye. It's a very a piercing eye. It's used mainly for finding dirty towels on the floor, and it's also used for finding kids who are having a good time, and yelling at them [Will adopts a high, whiny voice, and starts dancing the doll around the Big Blue Chair], 'Pick up your towels, no one's allowed to talk, I'm freaking out about everything, Will, don't have any fun, don't have any fun, don't have any fun.'" Indeed, outside, Nicole is bitching to Hardly about Will. Shoulda just done your own doll, Nicole. In the Diary Room, Will eyes the Nicole doll. "I can't go back out there with this, or she'll kill me," he muses.

On the patio, Nicole and It'sOnica discuss the ill-fated UT alliance. It'sOnica somehow manages to convince Nicole that UT was not a big deal, making Nicole think that Will lied to her about it, when, of course, in this case Will was actually telling her truth. Really. He was. Get out your flow charts, and check. "[It'sOnica] made it quite evident that I'm a dumb-ass," Nicole bitches. I find it hard to believe that It'sOnica could make anything "quite evident." Anyway, Nicole's all pissed, because she feels duped by Will. Frankly, I think Nicole is all pissed, all the time, and she's actually relieved when she finds a concrete excuse for it.

Luxury challenge, part deux. The prize? A helicopter tour of Los Angeles. Everyone is pretty stoked at the prospect of leaving the house, and sets to the challenge with enthusiasm. With the help of helium tanks, they make little hot air balloons for their dolls. The first two people to float their balloons over the backyard wall win. Bunky uses his "party planning experience" to come in a close second to Will, who won thanks to his own ample supply of hot air. Bah dum dum! Thanks folks, I'll be here all week. They're thrilled; the rest of the houseguests look crestfallen. "It'd be nice to know that a world outside of here exists," Hardly says in the Diary Room. "It's really a phenomenal, phenomenal award to win," he finishes. Note to Hardly: it's a helicopter ride, not the Nobel Prize in Chemistry.

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Big Brother




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