Eventually, Will and Bunky return. And Nicole can't even greet them. While Hardly and It'sOnica enjoy hearing about the trip and eating the food Bunky and Will brought back for them, Nicole bars herself in the HoH room and mopes. Eventually, Will pokes his head in, and offers her a salad and some champagne. She totally freezes him out, not taking the food and barely even speaking to him. Will tells the camera that he doesn't care about Nicole anyway, and that he's not going to let her ruin the day for him. Hardly tells him that, basically, Nicole is tired of his shenanigans, and advises Will to give her a wide berth.
Dinner. Nicole is being bitchy, as usual. The topic turns to sexuality, and somehow Bunky is roped into talking about which of his housemates may have had a gay experience, in his opinion as a gay man, and, apparently, a psychic. Bunky's all, no one will get upset if I'm honest, right? And they're all, no! No way! Not at all! Never! So Bunky says that when he first saw Hardly, he hoped he was gay, and was disappointed to hear that he wasn't. Nicole points out that that wasn't the question. Bunky rolls his eyes and says that he suspects Hardly has occasionally found other men attractive, but he won't allow himself to act on the attraction. "I think that you're bisexual," he tells Hardly straight out. Nicole's eyes basically pop out of her skull as Bunky explains that he doesn't think Hardly is, like, hot for men half the time and for women half of the time, that it's more like an 80/20 split, that he's more into girls than boys. Everyone looks at Hardly, who just sort of smiles. In the Big Blue Chair of You Know He's Right, Hardly, Hardly says that Bunky is wrong!
America's Choice: the housemates get a "shopping spree" in their own living room. Will is wearing a fringed neon green shirt. If anyone needs a shopping spree, it's him. So, anyway, they shop. They pile shit on, shirt over shirt over shirt. At the end of the ninety seconds, It'sOnica's scored some sweet tan knee-high stiletto-heeled boots, and I want them. Hardly is wearing a turtleneck in the Diary Room, talking about the challenge, and I have no problems with turtlenecks on a man, but....in August? In the Valley? Jesus Christ, people. The shopping spree seems to have vaguely cheered up Nicole. Like, now she's only somewhat homicidal, instead of entirely.
Later, Nicole's shopping high wears off, and she stomps into the kitchen to confront Will. She's wicked pissed. And I don't even know why this time. Is she still angry about the lying? Is he too chipper? Too amusing? Too much fun? She tells him he's "outright a bastard." Basically, she can't take him making fun of her. Jesus, Nicole, just fucking chill. He responds with some bland diplomatic spin, and Nicole tells him that he's lucky she had two days to simmer down, or she would have voted him off. But she's not going to, she says, unless he drives her to "whatever." I have no idea what Nicole's even talking about. She's got a bad case of It'sOnicaitis. In the Big Blue Chair of Chill!, Nicole says she won't stand for [Will's] disrespect anymore. Period. "I think Nicole's living in denial, and I'm not talking about that river in Egypt," Will tells the camera. "The simple fact is, she likes me and wants me to like her, and I don't. Nicole, are you crazy? If I stay in this house, of course I'm going to stab you in the back and nominate you and Hardy." From your lips to God's ears, Will. In the Big Blue Chair of Nicole is Blind, Nicole muses that she thinks she got through to Will. "I try to teach everyone the deep dark, dankest dungeon that I call my heart and no one pays attention!" Will explains in the Diary Room. Out in the yard, he says some more pseudo-trustworthy crap to Nicole, and she buys it all, and then walks inside. And Will looks right into the camera, winks, grins wildly, and wiggles his brows evilly.