Monday meeting. Nicole tells the group that she and Will have brokered a new peace for their time. Will and Bunky are supposed to argue their cases here, but both of them just say they're having fun and would like to stay in the house to have more fun and blah blah blah. Bunky only cries a little bit!
Hardly tells the camera that "nothing short of a catastrophe" can sidetrack his plan.
Nicole tells us that Will is safe...for now. And leaves me for forty-eight hours of painful worry about my funny, evil boyfriend.
Thursday. Another live show. Another filler-tastic extravaganza. The "previously on..." segment shows Hardly telling Bunky to "play hide and go fuck off" and I realize I forgot to include that a couple of pages up, when I was talking about Hardly and what a jerk he is. So: Hardly told Bunky to "go play hide and go fuck off." He's such a jerk! There.
So, Julie Chen looks cute in a sort of '80s-inspired light pink suit with a knee-length skirt, zippered jacket, low-slung gold-chain belt, and really, really hot open-toed slingback Barbie shoes. I want those shoes. To wear around the house with my overalls and tank top. She talks about a whole lot of nothing.
Inside the house, Hardly tells Bunky he's "influenced [Hardly] in a positive way. Of course, we have our moments." Moments like Hardly yelling at Bunky and bossing him around and then the two of them snapping at each other and thinking how much they secretly loathe the other.
According to what I can gather from her sessions in the Diary Room, It'sOnica is really pissed about the way Nicole and Hardly act on a daily basis, all bossy and bitchy. "They're not my mom and daddy," It'sOnica says.
Will tells us that every day, he wakes up and reminds himself not to piss off Nicole. "You know how some people have issues?" he asks Bunky. "Nicole has a subscription." Indeed she does, my funny evil boyfriend. Indeed, she does.
Bunky tells the camera that he and Will both want Hardly out. On the other hand, they both really hate Nicole. So does It'sOnica. So does America. And Canada. It's hard, Bunky implies, to decide which of them is the more disliked.
Bunky tells us that he tried to convince Nicole to keep him in the house. He talks to Hardly, to try to make a deal with him, but Hardly doesn't go for it. Hardly is convinced that Will can't win the game. Bunky just gives Hardly a look and tells him to think about that. Yeah, hello? Chill Town is in the voting booth. If it comes down to Hardly versus Will...do the math, pretty boy. Actually, what the hell am I saying? I hate Hardly now and Will is my evil, funny boyfriend. Don't do the math, Hardly! Run from the math!