Big Brother

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DeAnn Welker: D- | Grade It Now!
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Bye Bye, Dirty

Julie -- wearing what appears to be a shiny, baby-blue raincoat with paint-splash print inside, along with a black top and a gaudy medallion necklace -- tells us that they managed to get a member from each of the original four cliques into the final four. Which is sort of shocking, especially when you consider that Jordan's been the only popular one left since the second week. Previouslies: Natalie won her first competition, and then started lying even more than she had lied the whole summer. Which is a lot. Kevin made Michele an offer, but she acted like herself (read: awkward). Pandora's box happened again, and Natalie had the world's most boring and least exciting marriage proposal (her response to him: "Hell yeah") Natalie nominated Kevin and Michele, but it didn't matter and no one really cares anyway. Kevin beat up a mannequin for its clothes.

Live audience members are so excited to be here. Where on earth do they find these people? Julie -- whose black shirt is actually a dress now that I can see her full body -- tells us it's Day 66 in the house, and then reminds us again what happened in the last episode: Natalie chose to see her boyfriend, giving up a chance to play in the last veto competition. That means that whoever wins the veto holds all the power, because they'll be the only person with a vote. Blue screen sends us back to Natalie in her idiotic nomination ceremony get-up, telling Kevin he's "duped" and she wants him out, then telling Michele she's the devil. I'm so glad we got to see that again. Natalie DRs that her target is Michele, and that nominating Kevin was just a ploy to throw the girls off so that if one of the girls wins veto, they'll keep Kevin and send the other person home. Michele's confused and doesn't know what this show was about. Jordan apologizes to Kevin, but he DRs that he's in on it. Except that he secretly wants Natalie out.

Kevin and Natalie head outside after nominations and, since Jordan's there, they pretend to talk about the nominations. Kevin tells Natalie he understands, and that she honored her deal with him to final five. Jordan DRs that Kevin and Natalie are "fighting." Which is a strange thing to call that peaceful conversation after all of the screaming that happened in this house this summer. Kevin sits down next to Jordan and tells her, "That was weird." She says she wasn't expecting it. LIE. He wasn't either. LIE. Natalie talks to herself in the HoH room: "I think that went good [sic]. Job well done, Natalie." Oh, whatever. If these people were smarter about this game, they would know that this doesn't matter, so it's obviously your scheming. Fortunately for Natalie, they are probably too stupid or socially unaware to see what's going on.

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Big Brother

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