Big Brother
Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 412 USERS: C+
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Burying the Hatchet, if Hatchet=Lawon

Kalia announces to the house that it's time to pick the Power of Veto competition players. Kalia, Rachel, and Jeff are automatically playing, but the other three will be randomly selected. Jeff and Rachel are both determined to win for themselves, of course. Kalia draws Adam, Jeff draws Shelly, and Rachel draws Houseguest's Choice and picks Jordan for some reason, probably because that's who Jeff would have picked. I guess even she's figured out that Porsche's not in her camp any more. Then Kalia picks Porsche as the host. Where are my earplugs?

Shelly goes into the Have-Not room with Jeff and Jordan to try to buck them up and make sure they're all on the same team, since they'll be playing in the PoV together. Jeff and Jordan start to say something about wanting to be sure she's on their side as well, but she gets all huffy and stomps out because they don't appreciate her loyalty enough. It's enough to make Jordan cry, which prompts Jeff to make a charming comment about periods. Now Jeff feels like he has to go patch things up with Shelly.

Which he does by stomping into the room where she is and saying, "You're such an idiot!" Shelly starts going on about all she's done for them, and he pinky-swears that they're in it together. "Should we make out?" Jeff offers. Shelly declines. Firmly.

For the PoV competition, everyone goes out dressed in cheap togas into a backyard that's decorated like a Greek garden, if the ancient Greeks were also cheap. There are also long, two-sided ramps on columns, covered with Plexiglas shrouds. Rachel brags that she knows exactly what they're going to be doing, but refuses to say. And she wonders why nobody wants her around.

As host, Porsche explains the game: every player gets a gold croquet ball to roll up one side of their ramp, then run around and catch it on the other side and roll it back. For every time their ball goes over the top, they get a point. The first to get to 300 point wins. But what if they drop the ball? Well, their score goes to zero. Wow, this could turn into an endurance PoV competition that goes into the next episode. I've always wanted to see one of those.

DRs from everyone about why they need to win the PoV, and the competition starts, complete with a second full explanation of it in the DR, this time from Adam. The game proceeds, and to my shock, Adam takes an early lead, with Jeff close behind. "As of right now he's got more balls than Jeff," Jordan DRs before realizing what she just said and covering her mouth. Rachel, meanwhile, is mainly panicking and dropping her ball a lot. Jordan's almost as bad. Seeing Jeff's lead on her, Kalia forgets why she needed to win the PoV in the first place and takes a break. Which will make sense if Jeff drops his ball soon, but otherwise not. He's up to 192, to Adam's 197. Shelly drops her ball, losing her 98 points and pretty much giving up. The game continues, with Jeff and Adam still close together as they get to the mid-200s. Over at the viewing couch, Daniele mutters to Porsche says she doesn't want Jeff to win because she doesn't want Kalia to have to make a replacement nomination. Kalia, however, is cheering Jeff on, which irritates Daniele. Adam, in the mid-280s, thinks he's coming into his own in the house, like this isn't some bizarre fluke, but his ball keeps rolling back on him instead of going over the peak. So does Jeff's, though, so we go to ads with this alleged suspenseful moment.

Big Brother

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