Big Brother
Autumn Leaves

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
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The one where Hardy wins Head of Household!

Finally, my girl Monica gets some screen time. Mike sits in the Big Blue Chair Of Misused Slang and crows that "Monica is a straight-up sista that’s not to be messed with." Yet again, I have no idea what he’s trying to say. Monica tells the camera that she’s acting in the house exactly the way she acts outside the house. Out on the patio, she tells someone a story about teaching adults to read. Go, Monica, with the teaching adults to read! Krista twangs that Monica is fun, and "one of the coolest people [she]’ll ever meet." I’d like to add that Monica also has some awesome wigs, which always improves people’s standings in my book. "Some people need some encouragement, and I have words of wisdom, because that’s what I do outside of here, so I’ll say that," Monica tells the camera. Apparently, she spends a lot of time sharing her words of wisdom with Bunky. Bunky explains that Monica doesn’t like how he beats himself up all the time. Insert several shots of Monica telling Bunky not to apologize for being himself. Editors, consider it established that everyone likes Monica.

To the tune of some Zany Tuba Music, Nicole scrubs and scours the entire house, getting more and more pissed as she does so. She then stalks into the kitchen and yells at everyone not to be such pigs. It’s driving her insane, she says. "Insane is so close for you and me, we can just walk. We don’t even have to drive," Bunky says. Yeah, and Will and Shannon will be waiting for you at the border with bayonets. Nicole screams some more about her houseguest’s slovenliness, and then tells everyone she has a "horrible sexual build-up." Bunky raises his eyebrows. "All righty, then," he chirps sarcastically.

More Chill Town machinations, as they try to get Nicole to join their evil alliance. In the Big Blue Chair of Undercover Action, Nicole tells the camera that she’s "infiltrating" Chill Town, so as to bring them down, down, down.

In the Amusing Moment of the Night, Kent walks all over the house, talking to himself. It’s really quite funny. Last week, if you’d told me I’d be saying nice things about Kent, I would have smacked you. In the living room, Mike tells Autumn that he loves seeing Kent walking around like a broken man. Autumn twitters and agrees. Doesn’t she hate Mike? I thought she hated him after he tried to sex her up for her vote. Anyway, Kent’s hanging out in the HoH room, eating ice cream and talking to the camera, which is totally cracking my shit up. There’s no one in this house he can relate to, he says, which makes me sad. Poor Kent. He says he’s overdosed on all the crap in the house, and he just can’t take all the machinations anymore. He points out, as an example, that Mike and Autumn’s coziness is driving him nuts. Autumn, he says, is "as two-faced as anyone he’s ever seen." He’s not wired for two-facedness, he claims. "[Kent] messed with Chill Town, and he may have to be sent back to Knoxville, Tennessee this week," Mike says, over in the Big Blue Chair of Mike Sucks Ass.

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