Big Brother
Autumn Leaves

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
The one where Hardy wins Head of Household!

Over in the Big Blue Chair of Surprisingly Astute Psychological Analysis, Krista tells us that "Autumn is jealous of Shannon, and Shannon just feeds on that."

"So, we can let the high school shit go, and we can just discuss it, and let bygones by bygones," Krista asks, over at the Patio Meeting From Hell.

Big Blue Chair of Shannon Ought To Publish A Book Of Poetry. "This is so friggin’ retarded," Shannon says, demonstrating her artful grasp of the English language.

Back on the patio, Shannon refers to the rest of her housemates as "a bunch of fourth graders." Everyone needs to step back, she says, and then she starts crying (or, rather, pretending to cry, because I don’t see any tears), because, she says, she can’t handle criticism from other people, "be it constructive, or otherwise." Wow, you are really going to hate MBTV, Shannon. Everyone just watches her cry. Or, that is, "cry." Shannon eventually wipes away nothing from her completely dry eyes and admits that she was "retaliating" because she doesn’t like it when…and her voice totally trails off because she can’t think of a decent excuse. Everyone just looks at their feet.

Big Blue Chair of How Did All These People Pass The Psych Evaluation?. Autumn has pulled herself together at last, and she tells the camera that she’s got to keep her game face on, and she can’t let any weakness show. Not to anyone.

On the patio, people halfheartedly hug. Somehow, everyone manages to restrain themselves, and Shannon escapes the meeting without being stabbed in the eyeball with one of the eating utensils on the patio table.

Julie Chen is wearing the same shirt she had on last week. Julie, baby, I know I said I thought the shirt was cute, and I still do, but, dude, change your clothes. Anyhoo, it’s time for the HoH competition, which is a long-winded and basically boring game in which whomever knows the most about the other housemates wins. Don’t they do this on Survivor? Anyway, Mike says that, when he realized that the questions were going to be "interpersonal," he knew Will and Shannon were doomed. Because Will and Shannon don’t give two bits about the personal details of anyone else in the house. But, he says, he thought Krista might be able to pull this out. And Mike thinks Krista is one-hundred-percent part of Chill Town. On the other hand, the People Without A Nickname think Krista is on their side. Naturally, because Krista’s the swing vote, the one playing the middle, the one everyone thinks might just be on their side, she wins HoH.

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Big Brother




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