When You're Asleep, You're Lucky
1:53 AM: Dick is talking to...himself, I think? About how interesting the day was, even though it's "boring as fuck." And then he begins musing on the possibilities, and "who'd-a thunk it," and now he's just lame. I believe he then starts cracking his knuckles, which...I do not think is sexy.
1:55 AM: Dick and Eric play beer pong. Dick demonstrates this great shot Zach made earlier, and he is totally a rock star right now.
1:56 AM: This, with one hour to go, is where I start to feel like I'm going to pass out.
1:57 AM: Dustin announces that he's fully packed in case he goes home tomorrow. Predictably, he calls everyone "beeyotches." Meanwhile, Jessica and Jen primp, which I assume is because they're going to...the hot tub? Which Eric covered up earlier? Jess puts on deodorant, in case she stinks in the tub.
2:00 AM: Indeed, Jessica uncovers the tub Eric covered earlier and switches it on. I am so proud that I followed this subplot! The Pool Cover Story! The Pool Cover Diaries! Pool Cover Bordello! Eric put it on, and then Jessica had to take it off again!
2:03 AM: Zach sits with his feet in the tub, telling Jessica and Jen how great Dick is at beer pong, and how Dick would be the only one at the ESPN2 beer pong tournament who wasn't in a frat. That's a decent joke, actually. I'm not sure Zach entirely, irredeemably sucks.
2:06 AM: Jessica and Jen talk, and Jessica says she doesn't care what Eric and Daniele were up to -- Dick is going home, period. I dearly hope she will stick to that. Please, please, PLEASE. I will be so happy. I would also enjoy seeing her tell Eric where to stick his "advice" about what she should do. [Note: Stab self in eye.]
2:07 AM: Jessica chuckles over Dick's threat that if he goes out tomorrow, he's going to "bury" everybody. She and Jen think this is lame: "Nobody even listens" to him, Jessica points out.
2:11 AM: Dustin and Amber are in bed together. He's assuring her everything will be fine. She doesn't look convinced, and shockingly, she looks like she's been crying. Silence follows. Long, televised silence. And then Amber starts in about Dick and how much she hates him. I believe the silence was preferable and more interesting.
2:14 AM: I am flagging, and this is where the MS goes to bed. Jen and Jessica are puzzling over the goddamn clues again, which is so incredibly uninteresting. Jen comes up with a semi-plausible-sounding theory about how some of the clues seemed to recall past veto competitions. Jessica, on the other hand, thinks that the theme was that everything was white. You go, girl. She thinks that maybe they're going to give the houseguests something called "The White Power." I rarely go out on a limb, but I'm going to say I seriously doubt there will ever be anything called The White Power.