Big Brother
Big Brother After Dark

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When You're Asleep, You're Lucky

1:22 AM: Jessica is still holding court.

Me: Jessica could use a comb.
MS: I could use a Vicodin and a handgun.

1:25 AM: Dustin is folding laundry again. God, how did I ever live without this? I can't believe I thought I understood what was going on in the house just from watching the edited broadcasts!

1:27 AM: OH MAH GOD ERIC IS STILL TALKING TO DANIELE.

1:30 AM: Hitting the halfway point makes me want to send flowers to myself.

1:33 AM: Eric tells Daniele that her dad is ruining his (Eric's) Big Brother experience, which was essentially his greatest dream in life. Screw "without pity." I have extra pity, and I'm not even sure whom to give it to out of Dick for being himself, Daniele for being his kid, or Eric for...this. Finally, Eric announces to Daniele that he is "leaning toward" teaming up with them to get rid of Dustin instead of Dick. Gawd. He does, however, advocate for including Jessica in the group.

1:35 AM: "Jameka, please center your microphone," says Big Daddy.

1:37 AM: Eric and Daniele have now been having the same strategy talk -- which contains about thirty seconds of content -- for fifty minutes. My head hurts.

1:40 AM: Finally, Eric and Daniele begin to move in the direction of wrapping it up, with him saying that he'll get Jessica alone at some point and, presumably, tell her that he wants them to get together with Dick and Daniele and boot Dustin. Jessica is not looking hospitable to this up in the HoH. We'll see how it goes when she actually gets the news that he wants her to keep Dick. [Note: Siiiiiigh.]

1:44 AM: Right as it looks like Daniele and Eric are going to shut up, Daniele goes off on a tear about some fucking boring story about Jen claiming that Nick gave her Daniele's bandana, or something. I just...I don't know. It's unbelievable.

1:47 AM: Beer pong! Zach and Dick are indeed playing inside. Apparently, Dick's been kicking Zach's butt all night. But we can't stay on that, because we have to return to the HoH, where Jen has joined Jessica and her friends and Jessica is doing leg lifts on the bed. I forgot Jen was still alive. At one point, Jessica says, "That midget -- that little person -- would not leave Eric alone!" Nice save, genius. You wouldn't want anyone watching this show to have their sensibilities offended.

1:50 AM: Jen explains that making banana bread is a lot like making sugar cookies, except for some of the ingredients. She came back from invisibility for THIS?

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Big Brother

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