1:51 AM: OH MAH GOD DUSTIN IS TAKING OUT HIS CONTACTS. Ew. I hate other people touching their eyeballs almost as much as I hate anyone touching mine.
1:52 AM: Dick is sitting and smoking. And sitting and smoking. And he says "Holy shit," but he seems to have no point. Meanwhile, Eric does his laundry. I'm saying Eric does his laundry, literally, on television. This is what's on this channel. If the listings could get this specific, on Showtime Too at 1:52 AM, the listings would be a show called Eric Does His Laundry.
1:53 AM: Dick is talking to...himself, I think? About how interesting the day was, even though it's "boring as fuck." And then he begins musing on the possibilities, and "who'd-a thunk it," and now he's just lame. I believe he then starts cracking his knuckles, which...I do not think is sexy.
1:55 AM: Dick and Eric play beer pong. Dick demonstrates this great shot Zach made earlier, and he is totally a rock star right now.
1:56 AM: This, with one hour to go, is where I start to feel like I'm going to pass out.
1:57 AM: Dustin announces that he's fully packed in case he goes home tomorrow. Predictably, he calls everyone "beeyotches." Meanwhile, Jessica and Jen primp, which I assume is because they're going to...the hot tub? Which Eric covered up earlier? Jess puts on deodorant, in case she stinks in the tub.
2:00 AM: Indeed, Jessica uncovers the tub Eric covered earlier and switches it on. I am so proud that I followed this subplot! The Pool Cover Story! The Pool Cover Diaries! Pool Cover Bordello! Eric put it on, and then Jessica had to take it off again!
2:03 AM: Zach sits with his feet in the tub, telling Jessica and Jen how great Dick is at beer pong, and how Dick would be the only one at the ESPN2 beer pong tournament who wasn't in a frat. That's a decent joke, actually. I'm not sure Zach entirely, irredeemably sucks.
2:06 AM: Jessica and Jen talk, and Jessica says she doesn't care what Eric and Daniele were up to -- Dick is going home, period. I dearly hope she will stick to that. Please, please, PLEASE. I will be so happy. I would also enjoy seeing her tell Eric where to stick his "advice" about what she should do. [Note: Stab self in eye.]
2:07 AM: Jessica chuckles over Dick's threat that if he goes out tomorrow, he's going to "bury" everybody. She and Jen think this is lame: "Nobody even listens" to him, Jessica points out.