Over some coughing from another juror, Joe hollers at Dan, "You said you're up to your elbows in blood. Yet you've only won one HoH. What blood are you talking about and what are you trying to take credit for?" Joe: not getting it since Day 1. Dan lies that it's a great question, and says that he stabbed almost every jury member in the back, whether they realized it or not. He says he lied to Danielle about planning to keep Shane, which Shane seems to think is a load off his mind. Dan also mentions his multiple lies to Frank, and his funeral that ended up being Britney's. "I didn't want to play that way, but looking at you guys and how tough you were, that was my only option." Good answer: flattery and self-aggrandizement that sounds like self-effacement.
Julie chokes out an invitation for Britney's question (I guess it was the pro coughing, not one of the amateurs), and Britney asks Ian why he deserves to win. Ian tries again with the taking-his-fate-into-his-own-hands thing, which is the exact wrong case to try to make against Dan. He may have won the final HoH, but he's tanking this. He does add that he played a cleaner game, though. Shane's turn. He makes the most of his moment, complaining about his question on a ragged piece of printer paper as opposed to everyone else's fancy cards, and then "accidentally" calling Dan "Satan" before asking why Dan deserves to win over Ian. Dan throws Ian under the bus, saying Britney was holding Ian's leash all along, but he makes the mistake of saying he didn't respect Britney for the same thing. "Bull," Ian chants throughout.
Danielle gets the last question, and she directs it to Ian: "Did you know that Dan also had a final-two deal with me, and he was going to take me instead of you?" This is clearly news to Ian, and Dan cackles like the busted little boy he is as Ian says he hopes that not true, because Dan gave him his dead grandfather's gold chain as collateral and swore on the Bible and the cross. And how nice that we get to see Danielle's expression of open-mouthed shock one final time. Dan confirms to Danielle, "You're my player. I would have never turned my back on you." Danielle, meanwhile, looks like she'll never trust anyone ever again. Julie tries to sign off for the commercial break while Ian keeps repeating to Dan, "Really? Really? Really?" Really, Ian. Really.