Coming back, the key box is out in the studio, waiting for the jurors' votes. But first the final two get to make their speeches. Ian goes first, saying he's never not winged a speech and isn't going to change now. He tells Dan he's disgusted with him and was going to keep this nice, but not so much now. He reminds everyone that he won HoH four times and PoV twice, compared to Dan's one of each. He adds that Dan started with three lives and burned off two of them in the first few weeks, compared to Ian's one. He also mentions Dan's backstabbing, including his attempt to stab Ian himself. So far so good, but then Ian says he's played the game with "probability, statistics, and a little bit of heart." Which I'm sure everyone will love. He concludes that he controlled his own destiny and made smart decisions for himself, and yields the floor, to a big ovation from the audience and the jury, as well as a pat on the back from Dan himself.
Dan starts his speech with a story of the night the game was reset, when he realized he could never beat most of the people next to him on the pirate ship -- the ones he names just happening to be out there in the jury chairs. Dan says he had to play a ruthless game not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He appeals to them to vote for the player who had to strategize 24/7 and not count on winning by pulling a gold ball out of a machine or having a photographic memory. "I hope you guys aren't mad at me, and I hope you're not too disgusted with me," he wraps up. I don't know about all of them, but if he could see Danielle his brain would be on fire.
Time for the voting to begin, starting with Ashley. "I definitely put you on my dream board," she says to one of them, and simpers her way back to her seat. Britney tells them they're both very deserving as she casts her vote. "I'm voting for who I think made the best decisions in the game," Frank says as he votes. "Preesh. Hopefully," Dan replies. Joe just salutes them as he votes, then forgets his key pouch on the box so Julie has to remind him to clean up after himself. Jenn comes up to vote, and Dan informs the audience, "She sold a million records, if you didn't know that, by the way." He doesn't wait until after she's voted to say that, by the way. "Kissin' butt up to the end," Ian says. Shane comes up and says there are things he wishes he could say, but settles for saying that Ian played with respect and Dan played the way he could. Finally Danielle comes up and says, "The only reason I'm voting this way is because I've tried to keep my word and I'm going to try to continue." You can tell she wants Dan's balls for earrings, though. So much for the voting. But six of the first seven evictees will be back after the ads. Can't wait?