So Ian and Dan are hailed on the living room viewscreen so they can submit to their grilling. Ashley starts it out, asking Ian whether he made his own decisions or followed the group. Ian boldly claims he took his destiny into his own hands. "I would totally disagree with that, but you didn't ask me the question," Dan cuts in. As always, Julie forces the ritual back onto the rails before this can get too interesting.
Frank asks Dan whether he can justify swearing on the Bible and his wedding ring. Dan admits that there are a lot of things he's ashamed of, but being up to his elbows in blood, he had to play ruthlessly to get to this point. "I gotta go to confession anyways, man." Jenn's question to Ian is more of an accusation: "Why should I award you five hundred thousand dollars when you were playing Boogie, Frank, and me while in the Quack Pack?" Ian admits he had to go against his original alliance (leaving out the part about how they totally cut him loose after the reset), but repeats his "fate in my own hands" buzzphrase and tries to sweeten it up.
Over some coughing from another juror, Joe hollers at Dan, "You said you're up to your elbows in blood. Yet you've only won one HoH. What blood are you talking about and what are you trying to take credit for?" Joe: not getting it since Day 1. Dan lies that it's a great question, and says that he stabbed almost every jury member in the back, whether they realized it or not. He says he lied to Danielle about planning to keep Shane, which Shane seems to think is a load off his mind. Dan also mentions his multiple lies to Frank, and his funeral that ended up being Britney's. "I didn't want to play that way, but looking at you guys and how tough you were, that was my only option." Good answer: flattery and self-aggrandizement that sounds like self-effacement.
Julie chokes out an invitation for Britney's question (I guess it was the pro coughing, not one of the amateurs), and Britney asks Ian why he deserves to win. Ian tries again with the taking-his-fate-into-his-own-hands thing, which is the exact wrong case to try to make against Dan. He may have won the final HoH, but he's tanking this. He does add that he played a cleaner game, though. Shane's turn. He makes the most of his moment, complaining about his question on a ragged piece of printer paper as opposed to everyone else's fancy cards, and then "accidentally" calling Dan "Satan" before asking why Dan deserves to win over Ian. Dan throws Ian under the bus, saying Britney was holding Ian's leash all along, but he makes the mistake of saying he didn't respect Britney for the same thing. "Bull," Ian chants throughout.