Big Brother
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
Love Is a Poorly Rendered Thing

Marcellas and Gerry talk strategy. This is uneventful, except that when they discuss Danielle and how smooth she is, Gerry comments that she plays "the ghetto thing" with Marcellas. Ugh. Speaking of Danielle, she and Kiki have a talk in which I think Danielle's purpose is to reassure Kiki that Gerry isn't going to nominate her, but it's very hard to tell, because it's all terrifically cryptic. I think I need yellow subtitles for this, too. Kiki allows for the possibility that Gerry's winning HoH means her "karma's off." I think Tonya took it with her when she left. God knows she had plenty of places to hide it.

In the HoH room, Marcellas asks Gerry why he's not considering nominating Roddy. Marcellas, of course, does not know that Gerry and Roddy have a deal that saved Gerry's butt last week -- and in theory made it more likely that Roddy would put Marcellas on the block. Gerry remains vague.

Nomination ritual. Gerry calls himself "the executioner." Thanks, Gerry. He gathers everyone at the table, and the key-pulling begins. And the nominees are...Eric and Lisa. Now, as much as I don't like Gerry's personality, I think going after that foursome was absolutely necessary, and given the deal he had with Roddy, Eric and Lisa were the obvious choices. Chiara isn't smart enough to worry about, and she's under Roddy's thumb anyway, so I think it's the right move not to bother booting her at this point. Leave Roddy alone because of the deal, leave Chiara alone because she's a dope, and that leaves Eric and Lisa. In other news, Gerry makes a dorky chess reference, calling Lisa and Eric "the queen and a knight." He stumbles into an inadvertent joke here, because as stupid as this reference is if you read it the way Gerry meant it, it's actually quite funny if you think of Eric as the queen and Lisa as the horse.

Lisa whines that Gerry's reasons for putting her and Eric up were "cowardly." Man, she really has been taking Shannon lessons! But didn't Shannon say "cowardest" or something like that? ["Yes." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Eric and Lisa exchange the Meaningful Smooches of Doomed Love, and we are mercifully out.

Wednesday. Blue-and-white nomination ritual, and we slide up to color as Lisa hides in the bathroom because of her broken heart. Thank God they installed that overhead toilet-cam! They almost never get to use it, but here it is! Lisa's just standing there, thank goodness. Eric comes and tries to get her out. He tells her he's going to open the door. "If you're on the can, I'm gonna see it." Okay, I think that's a little funny. He coaxes her out and brings her into the Big Bed Room. There, she, Eric, and Kiki talk about the hateful Gerry, and how dare he nominate two of them? Damn Gerry, playing the game exactly as it's meant to be played! Curse you, Gerry! They bemoan their fate endlessly, as Chiara bounces her knee up and down furiously. Gerry is a bad, bad man. Chiara wants him to "walk out with shame," because of the evil. Eric comments on the absurdity of "going after two people for sleeping in the same bed." Oh, heavens, Eric, what a steaming pile that is. He went after you because y'all strutted around for a couple of weeks like you had the whole place wired, and that sort of thing tends to make them want to nominate you, but please do not delude yourself that your pulsating virility is the reason Gerry nominated you.

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Big Brother




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