Big Brother
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Love Is a Poorly Rendered Thing

Anyway, Gerry patiently listens to Eric's pitch as Josh listens attentively outside the door. Gerry fesses up, among other things, that he's afraid of how Josh would act during the intervening week if Gerry turned on him. Eric basically agrees to bodyguard Gerry if Gerry puts up Josh. Josh, in turn, having heard this, diary-rooms that if you mess with him, it will only "make [him] stronger." It's just like one of those horror movies where the monster is a big ball of ooze who is emboldened when you pour poison on him. Josh goes to Danielle, who he knows wants Eric out, and tells her that Chiara needs to be told not to use the veto, because Gerry is in the middle of being persuaded that if she uses it, he should put up one of the Secret Alliance of Extremely Secret Secrecy. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Eric tells Lisa that the whole thing isn't over yet. Incidentally, Eric is wearing the ugliest floppy hat in all creation, and if it weren't for the fact that even I am exhausted from hearing me harp on hats, I would spend ten minutes telling you just how hideous it really is. Take my word for it, because I don't have the strength. He tells Lisa that he's taking care of the situation, and he'll be "the biggest hero in the world" if it works out. I thought he was the biggest hero in the world already, because he said "Hi." Go figure.

Outside, Josh reports recent developments to Roddy, particularly the fact that he knows Eric tried to sell him out to Gerry. Roddy encourages Josh not to act like a jackass to Eric, no matter how he might be feeling. Josh agrees to try to rein it in, but reiterates that he "know[s] what [he] heard." In the kitchen, the dinner preparations continue, and Kiki asks Eric how the talk with Gerry went. "Extremely well," Eric says emphatically. Eric diary-rooms that he can picture Josh going psycho if he's nominated again, and adds that he would "love to see it." I feel compelled to remind this dipwad that he had a chance to evict Josh just two weeks ago and turned it down, freaking idiot that he is. Don't you wish you had, Eric? Didn't I tell you you'd wish you had? Nobody ever listens to me.

Lisa and Eric discuss the Second Greatest Love The World Has Ever Known. Bleh. They're excited, they're happy, blah dee blah blanket-rumpling. He grabs her like a tackling dummy and hoists her off the floor. How cute. Eric says he feels like Lisa is being taken from him for "all the wrong reasons," which I guess means that we're back on the "Gerry nominated us because we have true love" train. Music of Canoodling. Lisa explains that the things Eric has done for her are the most romantic things that have ever happened to her. Eric: "Wow. Okay." No, that's really what he says. He sounds like he was just diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, quite honestly. But it's all right, Lisa; being articulate is highly overrated. She diary-rooms that "for one of [them] to leave right now isn't fair." My amount of sympathy for her grows ever more minuscule, if such a thing is possible. I get that she's sad, but it's not like she's being nominated for execution by firing squad.

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Big Brother

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