Big Brother
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Love Is a Poorly Rendered Thing

Jason's patient indulgence of Chiara's attentions pays off when she spills it to him that she's booting Lisa instead of Eric. Jason passes this along to Danielle and Marcellas, and Danielle goes into damage-control mode, heading right to Kiki to talk it over. Kiki repeats what she heard about Lisa, promising that it came from a "very, very, very reliable source." Which, you will recall, was Josh. Good lord, I've seen more reliable sources cited in Weekly World News. Danielle encourages Chiara not to believe everything she hears, but they're still mid-chat when Lisa walks up and sits down, asking why all the long faces. Danielle effortlessly covers that she and Chiara were just talking about how much it sucks that they have to lose Eric or Lisa.

And now, Lisa and Eric, who are lamenting their impending separation far and wide, are gifted with a Big Date. They get a table spread in the back yard, they get champagne, and they get Josh cooking for them and being their maitre d'. Well, that'll increase the odds of a foodborne illness. There's nothing more romantic than sharing your parasites, you know. Eric and Lisa eat, they look warmly at each other, they toast, and they drink. She tells him that this is the most romantic thing she's ever done, and he promises that later, they'll have "many opportunities" to "blow it out of the water." Aw, that was kinda cute. She gives him a gift, which turns out to be a picture of the two of them, with the word "Hi" written on it. And I'm done with the cute, and I need a bucket, because I feel the uprising of my dinner. After dinner, they are put to bed in the Big Bed Room, which is decked out with rose petals and such, so there is plenty more night-vision blanket-rumpling for those of you who are into that sort of thing. Frankly, this scene contains just a little more houseguest porn than I really wanted to see.

Julie takes us to the living room to talk to the houseguests. I have to say this segment just isn't nearly as much fun as last week's. She asks about the date, which Lisa says was quite wonderful. Julie asks Josh about the date and why he chose to be so helpful, but honestly, because he still has that beard, I can't concentrate on anything he says. Eric says that the food Josh prepared was pretty good. Julie asks Danielle about the PB&J restriction she and Chiara suffered through for the second time, and Danielle obligingly bitches about it. Frankly, I will come right out and say that I enjoy the PB&J, so I find the bitching quite a bit overblown. Julie asks Jason about his letter from home, and not only does Jason talk about how great it was, but he says it gave him encouragement to "stay in it and win it all." He says this in such an unconvinced, sort of slapstick kind of way that everyone sort of goes "oooooh" and laughs indulgently, because they all know that of course, Jason has no strategy and is no threat. I love Jason.

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Big Brother

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