Big Brother
Bunky Breaks Down

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Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
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Bunky Breaks Down

This week's schedule is all screwed up, what with there being no Saturday episode, so we get to dive right into Tuesday. Everyone is all broken up about having booted Krusta, like they voted to send their grandma to the electric chair, or something. Bunky's sobbing. Will and Hardly are sitting around, looking glum. It'sOnica is stomping around the house and talking about pacts with Satan. "[It'sOnica] was obviously horribly, horrendously mad, which I don't blame her [sic]," Nicole says. I do.

It'sOnica sits in the Big Blue Chair of People Who Should Not Be Teaching Literacy and babbles that she's all alone on the house, now that her soulmate, Krusta, is gone. "Dutch Elm disease, bleeping Pabst Blue Ribbon," she says.

Will and Hardly say how much they hate themselves for voting Krusta out. In the Big Blue Chair, Will wishes that he hadn't been too cowardly to give Krusta a sympathy vote. "I feel this big," he says, indicating a very, very small amount of bigness.

Big Blue Chair of Huh? It'sOnica points out that Krusta "saved [Will's] ass and he dogged her out. And I will remind him of that every day. Pound cake."

More moping. Will calls himself a "coward and a weakling." Bunky sobs. Yawn.

Hardly whines that voting Krusta out was strategery.

Nicole cries on the patio. "This place blows!" she screams. "I hate it! Argh!" Hardly pats Nicole on the arm and tells her that voting Krusta out is "part of the process." Nicole sobs that Krusta hates her now. Like she didn't hate her before.

In the Big Blue Chair of America's Evil Boyfriend (And Canada's Dastardly Husband), Will wonders why Nicole is so upset about the Krusta thing, pointing out that she masterminded it all.

But Will is also upset. He cries! On the trampoline, he cries! Then he runs over to the patio to show It'sOnica his tears. Mournful Piano Music warbles sadly in the background. Bunky pats Will sympathetically, as Will thinks about sad things, like his tortoise getting run over by a bread truck, or male pattern baldness, and squeezes out one teeny tear.

In the Big Blue Chair of Hey! Someone Else is Crying, Bunky is shocked that Will actually feels bad about being selfish. "There's hope for the evil doctor!" Bunky crows.

In His Own Big Blue Chair Session, Will says some more stuff about being disappointed in himself for being unable to do the right thing, even once. I actually think Will genuinely feels bad about voting to evict Krusta, because he's usually pretty honest in the Diary Room. Although he might be playing to the cameras because he knows Krusta, Mike, and Shannon are watching at home, I think his remorse is legit, at least to some extent. He does admit, however, that he made sure It'sOnica saw him crying. "I want to look as weak as possible," Will says.

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Big Brother

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