Big Brother
Bunny Business

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Bunny Business

Previously: Nick was booted, which set off a round of ridiculous keening and gnashing of teeth over his departure, leading America to ask, "Wait, Nick was the ex-football guy with the porny moustache, right? Am I thinking of the wrong guy?" Those meddling kids and their blasted dog flew a banner over the house during the live HoH competition telling the houseguests that Eric and Amber were liars, but since the banner-flyers wasted parts of their space on "We [heart] Nick" and ancient "Nerd Herd" references that it appeared no one even got (nobody has any respect for history anymore), the banner lost much of its impact. Amber cried about evictions, nominations, the banner, her daughter, her dog, Dick, flyaway hair, bad breath, smudgy windows, crooked curtains, and the tendency of supermodels and rock stars to eventually get divorced. And also maybe some other things, but it was hard to hear all of them through the sobbing. Daniele got to thinking, and she wound up thinking all the right things for all the wrong reasons, basically knowing Eric was shifty in some way but still crawling all the way out on the crazy tree and suspecting him of secretly aligning with Kail, among other things. Jessica got wind of Daniele's wrath and tattled to Eric about the plot against him. Eric was quaking in his little boots, but he wound up not nominated, although Daniele assured us that the nominations of Kail and Jen were merely a smokescreen for her incredibly tricky plan to get Eric booted, which she's doing a great job of keeping secret so far, since she keeps telling everyone.

Credits. Beeeeeerrrrnnnn! I love a guitar. Nothing says "we made this seven years ago" like that particular guitar.

We blue-and-white to the most recent nomination ceremony, where Daniele smugly announces her reasoning, telling Kail that she's a threat and telling Jen that Jen wanted to be nominated after all. But as we know, it's all about avenging Nick. I can't imagine anything that would be more fun for Daniele's at-home live-in boyfriend than watching her make out with another guy, unless it's watching her throw a mental rod under the hood of her paranoid patoot over the other guy being evicted. It's like now, her anger is making out with Nick. (That sounds...fun, actually.) Slide to color, and Kail tells us that she's been promised that she's not going home, while Jen tells us that she could give a damn about being nominated, since it hasn't hurt her so far. Dick is still living up to his name as he jumps right back into trying to torment Jen, and she cares as little as always, and it burns him as much as always. Jen goes directly to the obvious subtext for once, asking him if he stares at her because she's so hot. Well, really. This is like the crazypants version of pigtail-pulling, and it's not like Dick's weird obsession with getting a rise out of her doesn't suggest something lustful. Of course, he scoffs at the notion, telling her that he stares at her "idiocy." I really recommend that the next time you're in court for peeping in somebody's windows: "I was there to look at her idiocy, your honor." When Jen doesn't really react to this either, given that it's about half a conversational level above "nanny nanny boo boo," Dick returns to his regular theme, which is getting up in her face and announcing, "Everyone hates you, Jen." Dick is bona fide unwell, y'all. Normal adults do not have enough rage in their bodies to seethe like this. Maybe he got an expired tat.

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Big Brother

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