Big Brother
Bunny Business

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Bunny Business

Next item asks you how many hours you'll eat just slop over the next 30 days. You can bid anything up to 720 hours. Daniele tells us that her body can't take the slop, and she might die. Daniele dies easily, in case you've noticed. It's good that Nick left when he did, or she might have wound up split right down the middle. Anyway, she writes down 710, successfully sliding her bid between Jen and Kail, who both said 720, and Jameka, who said 480, and Zach, who said 250. So Zach is out, and Kail and Jen have 720 hours of slop.

Next: "Power Shortage." This means that you bid how many HoH competitions, of the next five, you're willing to sit out. Kail says five. Jen says four. Daniele says three. And Jameka says five, so clever Daniele who thinks she's so cool winds up getting tossed from the competition, while Jameka and Kail have to sit out five HoH contests. Jen thinks this was stupid of Jameka in particular. Daniele goes off behind a plant to cry until Dick comes and tells her it's all right. Sadly, the plant is forced to observe the conversation. Poor plant.

Finally, one last item to decide the winner. We are reminded that the prize at the end is $500,000. How much of the prize money will you give up to win veto here? You're just giving up some of the prize if you win; as Jen has clarified, you don't pay if you don't win. You can write anything between zero and $250,000. Highest bet gets HoH. When the answers are revealed, Jameka has said $10,000. Kail has gone with $248,999. Jen has, just as you'd think if you'd been watching, taken all $250,000. It strikes me as really stupid that Kail tried to save herself...what, $1001 by being all sneaky? Way to go, genius. Veto wasn't worth an extra thousand bucks? Anyway, Jen is at the top of the ladder, so if she wins, she only gets half the prize that everyone else would get. But at least she has the veto. Jameka tells us that she wasn't about to give up a quarter of a million bucks just to get veto. You'd think that reasoning might have kicked in a little sooner, because I have no idea at all what possessed Jameka to go all-out to get a power she really doesn't need when she seems ambivalent about the eviction anyway. Dick assures us everything that's going on is exactly what he wanted to see happen. Because he's like that.

When we come back from commercials, everyone is putting on their bunny suits and looking down the barrel of everything they gave up -- especially Kail, who took practically every hit full-on up until the very end and didn't even win anything. Meanwhile, Jameka is all weepy over..something. It's hard to believe, but apparently, she's sobbing over the HoH thing, and the fact that without being HoH, she can't get pictures from home. Amber, who is a wonderful emotional consultant to rely on, provided you want the answer to everything to be "WAAAAAH!", tells her not to worry -- her friends in the house will look out for her. Amber also assures Jameka that she's good with God. And then Dick comes over, and Jameka walks off, which would be exactly my reaction, except I'd poke him in the eye first. Jameka goes off and starts praying for forgiveness. Like, actual forgiveness for the veto competition. As in, "God, please forgive me for agreeing to have pretend manure poured on my head." [God: "Yeah, I...don't really get into that."] By far the best part is where Jen strolls out in front of the camera in her bunny suit while the camera is trying to watch Jameka on her knees having a prayer/meltdown. "Now I'll hide the eggs!" Jen says as the organ music comes up in the background. You can tell that they were thinking they were using the camera a certain way, and Jen actually got in the way of the shot (which I imagine happens quite a lot), and then when they saw it, the editors were like, "Gold, is what that is." And that's what saves this show every summer -- the people in the back room eating Cheetos, despising the assholes on the show, cutting accidentally hilarious crap into intentionally hilarious sequences, and then laughing at each other's brilliance.

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Big Brother

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