Big Brother

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: D- | Grade It Now!

So that's where I thought we'd start -- a few thoughts on the bullying instinct.

Previously on The Dick Show, Starring Dick: America's Player, Eric, decided to form an alliance (along with his lady friend Jessica) with Dick and Daniele, leading many parts of America to attempt to return America's Player to the America's Player Store for a refund, but: nothing doing. "The rock'n'roll dad," as the announcer calls him, because "the rape-threatening dad" doesn't sound as whimsical, managed not to get his ass booted, in part with the help of Jen's vote. Daniele became HoH, which was gross for many reasons, not the least of which was that it made Dick so very happy. Jameka and Amber were betrayed, went on slop, and were nominated. But Daniele really wanted to get rid of Jen, so Jen received the classic back-door treatment, designed to ensure that she had no chance to play for the POV. Daniele took Amber off the block (after receiving promises that Amber would never nominate Daniele, would vote how Daniele wanted her to, and would personally paint Daniele's nails with glitter every day for the rest of her life) and put up Jen, who was fairly obviously and not-so-suspensefully doomed, a fact that those in charge of this show will now attempt to spend an hour working around. What will happen tonight? Will Dick come up with any new forms of sexual assault that would be hilarious ways to kill women he doesn't like? Find out tonight. Except for the last thing, which they probably won't share.

Credits. I hope you're not watching.

Julie Chen and her surprisingly tasteful black dress welcome us to this fine, fine program. Julie talks about what a big week it was, and how Dick and Daniele are "dominating the game." Julie reminds us that, at the veto competition, Amber and Daniele won a trip to New York to be on Power Of 10, CBS's new game show, here on CBS, which is now airing on your local CBS station, on CBS. Julie promises that the live voting will occur soon.

But first! We blue-and-white back to Jen's replacement nomination, where Daniele lied about her reasons for nominating Jen, arguing that it was "nothing personal," when, in fact, it is completely personal. In the DR, a surprisingly shaken-looking Jen tells us that apparently, Daniele is "a liar" and they aren't on good terms after all. I'm not sure how Jen can be so surprised, but then, Jen's personality is hard for me to get a lock on, and I'm never sure whether she's mostly dense (I think so) or weirdly savvy (I don't think so). Jameka tells us that she's happy that the replacement nominee is Jen, to which you should give a hearty "duh." Daniele does her usual "don't be mad at meeeeee" routine, telling Jen maybe they can "talk later." Jen, still stung and surprised, comments to Daniele that it's "weird," because Jen wouldn't have done the same to Daniele. In the DR, Daniele perma-smirks that Amber and Jameka aren't threats, unlike Jen, who's very unpredictable. Daniele fake-apologizes again, and Jen fake-accepts.

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Big Brother




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