Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Monet, Monet

Farewell greetings. Andrew tells her he doesn't know what she was even doing there. "Everything you did was completely wrong if you were really trying to win this game." That's got to sting, coming from Andrew. Kathy is grateful to Monet for giving her the gift of the phrase, "I'm gonna punch somebody." Matt boasts about being "instrumental" in sending her home, calling her a casualty of war. Rachel calls her "A little bit cliquey and super-catty," and accuses her of trying to break up her and Brendon. So I guess in Rachel's mind, the end of the summer will see this show littered with the corpses of those who tried to take her man away. Whatever. Britney tearfully but amusingly talks about missing all the catty remarks they made together.

HoH competition. Everyone save Rachel is standing on one of eleven surfboards sticking out from a wall over a long, narrow pool of water. Last person standing will be HoH, but! The first five to fall will be the Haves for the week, along with outgoing HoH Rachel. Julie starts the game, and right away the players are all being deluged with water while standing on their boards. Cheesy surf music plays as we cut between them, waiting for something to happen. "Its going to be a long night," Julie says. Going to be?

There's another America's Vote about the food for the have-nots this week, but nobody cares.

We rejoin Julie in the studio so she can tell us about the next week's worth of shows. The water has stopped pouring, and everyone is still in the game. Julie checks in with them, and after signing off with them, the water starts back up, as well as what sounds like a wind machine. Nothing else continues to happen all the way through the credits. Gripping!

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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.

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Big Brother

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