Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
Misty Slop-Colored Memories

Replay of Zingbot's reign of lame putdowns on Day 43, which it always followed with the word "Zing!" We get to hear a few of the zingers we missed before, like comparing Hayden's hair to Justin Bieber's, and emitting a siren noise before telling Kathy to pull over for doing 40 in a 25 zone (a crack about her age that she has to have explained to her, because she's old and slow). It brings up Britney's engagement and offers congratulations "to you and your brother," and tells Brendon, "I thought I was made of a lot of silicone until I met your girlfriend." He also asks Matt to say hi to the other Hobbits when he gets back to Middle-Earth, and says that although one of them will win half a million dollars, they're all big losers. Zzzzing!

Back in real time, the Brigade congratulates themselves on their side alliances. They start with Hayden's, whose secret girlfriend Kristen ate a live spider in the kitchen for no reason. Never saw that before, even though Matt DRs that it was the most awesome thing ever. Then they bring up Lane's side alliance with Britney, upon whom Lane denies having had a crush. Cut to the same montage of Lane and Britney bickering and wrestling that they played on the whichever eviction night it was when we met Lane's and Britney's respective families back home. The guys talk about how Britney could be "fiery," and Lane agrees that she was four feet tall when she was nice and six feet when she was mean. Replay of her fight with Brendon, which she wasn't even part of until she jumped into his throwdown with Ragan. Just as shocking the second time around, which is to say not terribly.

Now it's time for the of course totally unscripted and not-at-all-staged nostalgia tour of the house, which begins in the HoH room. Lane pretends to think that everyone in the Brigade got to stay in here, then pretends to remember that Enzo didn't, so much. Enzo claims to have been the guy behind the guy. They recall Pandora's Box, and how it led to Matt's non-eviction on Day 48, which we get to see again. Lane is bitter about Matt getting the biggest power in the game from Pandora's Box, where as when Lane himself got it, he not only won a piddling $91.17 but also inflicted the dancing punishment on the house. The worst punishment, of course, being Hayden's dancing. But tonight, they agree that the worst Pandora's Box was the return of Rachel, which wasn't so much a grenade as an atomic bomb. So there's a whole replay of Rachel's fight with Ragan. The one not in the jury house, that is.

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Big Brother




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