Big Brother
Dethroning Amy

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
Gone For Gouda

Jason, Lisa, and Josh talk about voting. They don't vote. Enough with the non-voting. This isn't interesting! Stop it! Sometimes, it's all just spittin' in the wind.

Back to the houseguests, and time for the eviction at last. Just as everyone suspected, it's a seven-to-nothing clean sweep in favor of giving Amy the boot. She claps happily, which again is creepy, because she spent the entire week saying she didn't want to go, and especially that she didn't want a unanimous vote against her, and again, I just do not buy the eleventh-hour turnaround. Nevertheless, she fake-cheers her way to the door after faking an obviously pre-planned catfight with Marcellas. Snore. She makes her way out of the house, working the pretend cheer the entire time, to the point of humming out loud on her way to see Julie. She is quite thoroughly full of it, and now she just needs to get off my TV.

Back inside the house, everybody gives Marcellas big kisses, and he certainly does make a speedy recovery from Amy's departure.

Amy now gives the most Stepford-ian, creepy Chenterview ever, grinning maniacally and talking a mile a minute the entire time. Loves everyone, isn't angry, so thrilled! So happy! Couldn't be happier! No hard feelings! Doesn't mind leaving! You can just hear her therapy bills ch-chinging through the entire thing. She also claims to have made up with Chiara, which is utter bull. In the end, Amy strikes me as a big phony, top to bottom, stem to stern, orchestra to balcony, and I'm ready for her to go. Oh, and when Marcellas does his videotaped goodbye, he says, "Your dismissal from here shall be avenged." Way to steal from Will.

In short, as is the case with most people, I like Amy a lot more when she's not trying quite so hard to convince me of how wonderfully endearing she is. There's an okay girl in there somewhere, and after she's had a few disappointments that she's been able to acknowledge are disappointments, she may surprise herself.

Now it's time for the new HoH competition. It's trivia about other people again. These questions are always so fascinating. I mean, really, "Who is five-foot-four?" There's a nail-biter. Anyway, in the end, it comes down to Eric and Gerry, and the tiebreaker is to guess the total height in inches of the three houseguests who have been evicted so far. The correct answer is 194 inches, and Gerry actually comes very close at 188. Eric does not come so close, at 268. That makes the girls an average of seven and a half feet tall, if you're keeping score at home. Way to go, there, Eric. Eric knows very well that this is a significant development, because Gerry? Is not too dumb. He's a buffoon, but he's not dumb. The Gang of Cutes look a little ill, as well they should. Whee, breaking up the Alliance Formerly Known as the Goobers! What will Gerry do? What will happen next? Oh, yeah. They'll have a stupid food challenge and some of them will sit outside playing cards, and others will sun themselves like lizards. That's sure to be fun.

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Big Brother




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