Big Brother
Dethroning Amy

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Gone For Gouda

Danielle teaches ab class. She laughs her ass off at Gerry, who's trying to exercise in the pool. Well, that's good, because God knows, the one thing a really skilled fitness instructor does is mock the efforts of everyone who isn't already in shape. I have news for you, Bitchard Simmons: he's the one guy you should probably admire most for being willing to do this on national television and in front of a bunch of twenty-five-year-old hardbodies, so you might dial back the level of contempt just a smidge. Everybody agrees that Gerry has lost some weight, although this doesn't stop them from laughing at his efforts to work out. Oh, how fair. You know, I heard something said the other morning during the episode of Happy Days that was on while I was ironing my favorite pants, and it's been with me ever since: "It is time to put an end to the tyranny of creeps." Amen to that.

Monks sing on the soundtrack as we are introduced to Roddy. The theme of this segment is that Roddy is The Thinker. Of course, in this house, anyone who can speak in sentences and zip his fly without a tool kit, a Sherpa, and a schematic drawing is likely to come across as The Thinker, but it appears that Roddy has indeed impressed everyone with his diverse body of knowledge on topics such as weather patterns, parables, and herds of buffalo. No, really. ["Which makes me think that Roddy should have applied to appear on Jeopardy! rather than Big Brother." -- Wing Chun] "He just got a hell of a lot more out of college than I did," Eric says. Hee. Lisa says she hopes other guys learn that "it's good to...know something besides how many beers are in a six-pack." I'm taking that as intentionally funny, because if I don't, it will make me cry. Furthermore, they also seem to find Roddy amusing, and Jason thinks of him as an "older brother." Later, Jason, Josh, and Roddy sit in the kitchen eating ice cream. "This moment right now is arguably the best moment of my life," Roddy says. Wow, I hope not. If you have never had a moment of your life that was better than a moment involving Josh, then I tend to think you have spent a fair amount of time tied up in a closet being gnawed by rats. Marcellas, meanwhile, has a huge crush on Roddy, and gives him a manicure. Marcellas diary-rooms that all he wants now is to win the money and have Roddy write his life story. Ha! "That would be the amazing moment! That would be like Marcellas hitting the lotto!" he gushes. Later that night, Roddy broadly propositions Marcellas, but Marcellas and the Big White Robe poutily turn him down. "Kiki would scratch my eyes out," he says sadly.

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Big Brother

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