Big Brother
Donna Martin Graduates

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Glazed Over

Rachel enters the HoH room to see that the Pandora's Box door is back. The video clue about Rachel's choice is, wouldn't you know it, a pregnant Tori Spelling standing in front of racks of clothes, waving out at her from the monitor. Rachel gasps, and puts her big science brain to work to analyze that "Adam would freak out." When she reads the second card, it says something about a shopping spree with a celebrity. Rachel debates whether it's worth risking a game twist with five people left, but also realizes Adam would kill her if she passed it up, "And we've already had so many twists [most of which have blatantly been in my favor]." So she opens the door and walks in. Ads. Maybe she won't come back out?

But when she enters Pandora's Box and finds racks of clothes and a counter of goods, from behind the latter pops...Jessie. Horrible, horrible Jessie, in his wrestling briefs, who will be her host for the shopping spree. Rachel pretends to be happy to see him, but tells us the DR, "He is not a celebrity." And all the crap he's selling Rachel is Jessie-branded. Worst prize ever.

"Wake me up if anything exciting happens," Adam says downstairs, and of course the doorbell rings while he's in the middle of changing his pants. He rushes to get dressed again, and in comes Tori Spelling herself, looking huge in a tangerine maternity gown and causing Adam to, naturally, completely plotz. They start giving her a tour of the house, and meanwhile, upstairs, Jessie is forcing Rachel to try on "Mr. Pectacular" t-shirts. Look, nobody hates Jessie more than I do, but I have to confess that he's starting to crack me up playing to his image as a deluded egotist. The monitor inside the room comes on and shows the other houseguests welcoming Tori Spelling inside. "I want to go with them!" she wails, while Jessie struggles manfully to keep her focused on his crap. Downstairs, Tori pop-quizzes Adam on 90210 (he gets them all right, of course, like he has been all summer) and then tells him he's adorable. He is starting to look better now that his beard is growing back, a full Santa Claus rather than the rectangular goatee he came into the house with. Meanwhile, Jessie is playing Rachel to the hilt, offering her an autograph and asking what her name is. Adam gets some pictures of Tori kissing him on the cheek, while Jessie makes Rachel pose with him for some photos. Tori tells the houseguests that there's a "shopping spree" set up in the backyard, and they get to keep whatever they can put on in three minutes. She leaves them to it while Adam chants "Donna Martin graduates!"

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Big Brother

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