Big Brother
Don't Let The Back Door Hit You

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
First Guy To Throw Stuff Goes Home

Howie tells us that he likes George. Why? Because George cooks and cleans for him. Nice! He then says that he could get all sympathetic about George being nominated, but it was sympathy that got him thrown out last year. Howie: another victim of having lost your own season because you were too awesome. That, I think, is why the season is so irritating. Most of the people here have already lost, and almost all of them think it's because they were too awesome. Too smart, too nice, too friendly, too trusting, too honest, too "real," too loyal. (Or, in a couple of cases, too horny.) So they all came back convinced that they needed to act like dumb, faithless, humorless assholes, which they kind of are.

Out in the yard, Will lifts weights, and Mike comes out and says that George really does not look good. Will claims to feel bad, which has about as much credibility as anything that starts with "Will claims to feel." Will then chuckles that he wants to win the veto and take George off the block, and Mike is like, "Dude, no." Mike tells us that his main allegiance is to Will (duh), so he'd like to see Will get vetoed so somebody else would go home. They chat outside with Danielle, who assures them that the S6 plan is to get rid of George, which Mike kind of can't believe, given that it's the decision between a nice guy who cooks and cleans for you versus the sneakiest snake of all time. Mike DRs that it's a pretty "sick and twisted universe" when Will serves as your "pawn." As much as it pains me to agree with Mike, I agree with Mike. Danielle DRs that the people who are up this week are not the people she'd like to see up. But she says that if you held the vote now, George would go home. Chicken-cooking metaphors follow.

Jase and James have a chat in the HoH room in which Jase thanks James for not nominating him. Jase says that he didn't come to James before the ceremony to ask not to be nominated, because that's for "weak players." In the DR, Jase adds that he doesn't mind being nominated, because he thinks he can beat anyone. Just remember that part. James goes on this big rant about how Nakomis and Allison were booted before passive, worthless George, and it just seems to offend James, as if there's an honorable and a dishonorable way to play Big Brother. James specifically says it's offensive to play that way in All-Stars. I...just cannot believe that conversation is happening. I remember Sars discussing how there's no such thing as tarnishing a victory on The Apprentice, because, as she put it, "It IS tarnish." This is basically the same thing. This is a lot of people who hang out in the same L.A. bars (mostly), coming back to hang around all summer in the hopes of (1) hitting a more profitable fame train the second time around; and (2) getting the cash. It's not the Final Four. It's not even the Jeopardy! Tournament Of Champions. It's just people who've already been on TV to do a meaningless thing who are back on TV doing that meaningless thing some more. No offense to Marcellas, who I'm sure would think I just need to look in my heart and figure out why I'm such a hater.

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Big Brother




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