Big Brother
Don't Let The Back Door Hit You

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
First Guy To Throw Stuff Goes Home

After commercials, we find a most disturbing thing happening on night vision while people should be sleeping. Specifically, Jase is...rapping. And other people are sitting around watching. And Kaysar is in charge of percussion. "I think I'm getting a good night's sleep...all of a sudden, 8 Mile breaks out in the bedroom," Will gripes in the DR. Hee. "What could be better than watching white boys try to rap?" Diane dubiously asks us all. And then Jase gets the idea that they should wake up Chicken George and get him to rap. Which...they do. They, like, drag the guy from sleep. It's very odd. He can't rap, so it just comes off like...unnecessary humiliation, to me. Let's get the old guy in here and see what he can't do! George, in the DR, giggles and compares himself to "the two-dollar guy...75 Cents or whatever." Put on the spot, George does manage to call James a "prick" and a "dick." That's what you get for forcing people to rap. You get insulted with all the pairs of rhyming words they can think of. "George has some fight in him," Danielle tells us, apparently based on rap. Who knew the music of the street would bring out the animal in George? I have to say, the more Danielle manages to control herself and keep her mouth shut, the better I like her. I do remember liking Danielle once, and I'd love to like her again.

Filler. Topic? Jase's "mirror face." Danielle explains that Jase likes to stand in front of the mirror, make his mirror face, and flat-iron his hair so that it stands straight up. She also says that he's so ripped that he looks like "Japanese anime." Which is pretty funny...and accurate. But she can barely contain herself talking about his level of primping: "When a man has his bangs hanging ever so slightly over his headgear...Houston, I think we've got a problem." I'm impressed by the quality of her impression of the Jase face, based on the side-by-side comparisons that the show is kind enough to show to us. Will takes his shot at the Jase face also, and his is maybe even better, though perhaps a little too painfully similar, Will. Mike adds his version, which isn't so good. It's hard for one dumb, vain, creepy dude to make fun of another dumb, vain, creepy dude, because you get feedback and reverb and stuff.

Howie and George have a talk in which they discuss the fact that George needs to win the veto, which George repeats in the DR. "The force is with you, Georgie," Howie says. Howie DRs that he likes George, and will miss him when he leaves. George assures Howie that he'll be rooting for him to do well. Aw. Bonding! Well, kind of. The kind of bonding that guys do when they're so incredibly bored, but they're not in jail. "Howie," George says, "you go for the money." He goes on: "And don't let nobody tell you you can't do it, because you can." Aha, who's the barely coherent Jedi now? Sad music plays, like they sort of want us to think we should feel sad about the impending breakup of Howie and George, but Howie and sad music cannot really coexist unironically. Howie tells George he's "been a great Jedi apprentice."

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Big Brother




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