Big Brother
Big Brother

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 546 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Self-Destruction, Meet Janelle

Diane DRs that she did not enjoy groveling for her life: "It's so retarded." Oh, Diane. "If I don't nominate you, can that be, like, a sign of trust?" Janelle asks Diane in the abomination. Diane agrees. What's she going to say? "No, I'll probably put you up the first chance I get"? Diane promises that she'll "show it back to you" if she's shown trust. And then they hug awkwardly, with the whole thing happening in the arms, which is because they hate each other. Diane DRs that she's not sure whether the trip up there did any good. As she leaves the abomination, Diane tells Janelle she's just sure that outside the house, they're going to be great friends. Janelle agrees. They are both the fakiest fakers that ever faked a fake. And then Diane blows a kiss on the way out. That's what we call milking it, sweetheart. I have to wonder how either of them believed the other one of them would be fooled by that particular scene. It seems like they could have saved a lot of time if Diane had stuck her head in and said, "So." And Janelle had shrugged and said, "Yeah." And Diane had said, "Okay." They'd be exactly where they are now, with less insincere hugging and bed-lounging, and more time for updates on George's farting schedule and Janelle's kitten-ear-pulling.

Later, Will wanders up to the abomination and asks Janelle if he can take a bath. "Sure, would you like me to join you?" she says. He smiles, and she gets all preening that he's "at a loss for words." Of course, Will's feigning interest in her disarms Janelle to the point where she totally lets him sit in her bathroom and disrupt the strategy talk her alliance was trying to have. Huh. Who would have thought? Oh, right. Me. Will gets in the tub. (In his swim trunks, of course.) Will asks Janelle to run downstairs and bring him some rubber ducks so that he can give her a puppet show. She hops up to go get the ducks. Hard to tell who's running the show here, isn't it? Will DRs that while baths are fine, he was using this particular one as an opportunity to talk strategy with Janelle's team. When Janelle returns, she dumps a large bunch of ducks in the water, and Will grins and says that he's going to do the puppet show now. "Does anyone else want to watch it, or just you two?" he asks, referring to Janelle and Kaysar. For me, it was this moment -- this bright, funny, energetic, thoroughly mischievous smile -- that put Will back on the radar as the entertainer that he is. Mike comes in and has a seat as he DRs that Will's use of humor to break the ice is very smart. I've said about Will before that whether people would ever admit it or not, one of the reasons he sticks around is that he makes the house more fun, and these people are absolutely starved for entertainment. They probably don't even know they're doing it, but all other things being equal, you're going to keep him there to do puppet shows and zing Howie and flirt with the women. It's more fun than, say, keeping Diane. Or Erika. Or Kaysar. How many discussions of heartache does one house need, really?

Big Brother

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