Big Brother
Enemies, A Love Story

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Joe R: B- | Grade It Now!
Enemies, A Love Story

Julie kicks us to commercial by not only teasing the three secret houseguests, but also telling us that they're already in the house, stashed away somewhere. Okay, that's freaky. Though I think they kind of missed the boat by not tying into the fairy-tale theme and having them already asleep in the beds like Goldilocks. But no, they're just hidden "upstairs." The blue walls make it look like this is the diary room, but Julie doesn't say and I am thankfully not that acquainted with the Big Brother house that I can say for sure. When Julie tells the houseguests that they'll be living with "an enemy, a rival, or someone [they] have unfinished business with," Dustin totally freaks out and mouths "fuck," and they have to blur out his mouth. Julie lets them eavesdrop on the house for a while, and they talk amongst themselves about their respective "enemies." Dick is particularly immature about his situation, putting his estrangement from Danielle entirely on her and looking almost eager to get to the business of voting her out. Dustin alludes to a messy breakup with Joe, who he says slept with a friend of his. Jessica ends up looking totally petty by comparison, as her and Carol's issues essentially involve being high-school rivals and Carol owing Jessica five dollars from when they were fourteen. Dustin totally laughs right at her.

Julie gets on the big TV and tells the original eleven that there are other houseguests and that they've been watching, but she doesn't say where they are. Danielle thinks it's a whole group of "older" people, which means she's at least noticed how depressingly undergrad this whole group is. The Enemies have to be in the diary room, because nobody finds out where they are. Dustin keeps yelling at Joe on the monitor because he's wearing Dustin's clothes. Dustin, please don't claim ownership of those denim capris.

The first Head of Household competition is only contested among the original eleven, which puts the Enemies at a serious disadvantage, I think. True to the theme, the backyard is filled with giant toadstools, and oh my God, Nick's upper body is enormous. Sorry. Maybe it's just because he's standing next to Eric and Joe. Everyone has to immediately pair up, and since Nick is the odd man out, he's ineligible to compete. The competition involves that old Big Brother staple: true-or-false. While one team member answers questions, his or her partner is seated on a toadstool, and each incorrect answer causes the toadstool to spin faster. Last team standing wins. In the diary room, Dick is already rooting against Danielle. Eric, who is trying to throw the competition, keeps accidentally getting questions right, which can happen when you're answering true-or-false questions about people you don't know. At some point, the toadstoolers get splashed with a brownish-green sludge. Let no one say that this show doesn't know its way around a metaphor. It comes down to Jameka and Joe versus Eric and Kail, and when Joe finally falls off, Dustin is mighty relieved. Julie announces that the still-hidden Enemies will be safe from eviction this week, which is fair, and also that they will be the ones to determine who, between Eric and Kail, will be HOH. Eric none-too-subtly makes a plea for Kail to get the honor, ostensibly since she was the one spinning on the toadstool. The Enemies don't want to make waves this early on either, and since everybody seems cool with Kail, she's the first HOH.

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Big Brother




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