Big Brother
Evel Never Dies

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M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
Evel Never Dies

The movie watchers enter the HoH room to find it turned into a screening room, stocked with drinks, snacks, and theater seats. And fresh popcorn, which is just a bit too generous, if you ask me. Here comes some easy recapping, because I'm not going to describe any 21 clips and it doesn't take that long to tell you that while the movie is playing, Adam is downstairs by the pool table giving Ryan a hard time over gambling away their movie screening. After the movie's over, everyone claims to have liked it, which causes me to lose all interest in seeing it, ever.

Late at night, Adam rousts everyone out of bed to pick players for the PoV competition. Joshuah frets about what this departure from the usual routine could mean. Well, if he likes routine, he's in the right house. As always, it's the HoH (Adam), and the nominees (James and Chelsia), and a person randomly drawn by each of them. The randoms are Josh, Sheila, and, for James, Houseguest's Choice. He picks Sharon, way too excitedly. Ryan feels bad about not getting to play, and he and Adam talk in the HoH room about what a poor draw this is for their side. "It's all down to me," Adam says. Well, and Sheila, but she always loses, so point taken. Meanwhile, James is making an idiot of himself with the celebration, and Sharon sees what a mixed blessing this is for her; if James goes off the block, she might be next.

Everyone's sleeping. It's the ass-crack of dawn. And speaking of ass-cracks, enter Evel Dick, accompanied as always by his heavy-metal guitar soundtrack. He raids the kitchen drawers for a couple of big pans, and then heads for the main part of the house. Dude, turn around -- omelets happen in the kitchen.

After the ads, Dick goes sauntering through the house, banging his pans together and not making nearly the racket he probably hoped for. He yells at everyone to get up for the PoV in ten minutes. Sheila gets an edit where she DRs about how much she hated Dick, and then we see her rushing at him and throwing herself on him, and saying that now she's been in the house, she respects him. I assume she means that now she understands for herself how being in this house can turn you into an even bigger asshole than you were before.

The houseguests find the back yard turned into a bar with irrelevant musical instruments all over, and a big sign that reads "Club Evel." Great idea! Oh, that's not what it means. Dick explains that they'll have to drink gross beverages and play "rock & roll croquet" (which marks the first time in history those three words have ever been used together) to win the PoV. Plus if the PoV winner beats Dick's score of 33 points from last season, he or she will also win a Gibson Les Paul guitar and amp. Dick sends the PoV competitors to seclusion in separate rooms.

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Big Brother




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