Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
April Glowers

Time for a segment about the April/Ollie showmance. We see them standing in the pool, talking about living together and whether Ollie's parents would approve. This triggers a segue to the Des Moines church where Ollie's dad is a minister, and he tells the cameras about the strict Christian upbringing that has made Ollie the fine, moral young man he is today. Clearly, Dad isn't watching the live feeds. Back in the pool, April is warning Ollie that in Arizona, girls like her number in the millions. The Arizona Tourism Board and Chamber of Commerce immediately plan protest marches. But first, we go to Phoenix and meet April's better-looking twin sister, who seems to be the beta of the two of them (like that's hard). She thinks April and Ollie are a total "showmance," which she defines as "portraying a romance for the show." Wow, I didn't expect her to be less fooled by them than I am. Ollie's dad has to have it defined for him, and then he warns that Ollie should watch himself. Too late! At the crowded viewing party happening at April's home, everyone moans when they hear Ollie ask April to marry him. And in a continuation of that pool scene, the two of them agree to move in together after the show. So we'll see how that goes. Or actually, we won't, and I'm fine with that.

Time for the mass Chenterview, with the houseguests assembled in the living room. Julie begins by addressing Ollie, and playing them the clip of his being terrorized by the crow. Ollie blames the Hitchcock movie for his phobia. I think we've worn out this storyline. Julie then congratulates Dan on winning his first competition. He pleads good luck, because his housemates are listening and he still wants them to think he's a pathetic loser. Julie asks Renny about her meltdown when she saw her parents' photos in the HoH room, as if she's going to give a coherent answer. She doesn't, but she does verge on tears, which I'm sure is what Julie's going for anyway. Julie then asks Jerry how he's handling the slop. He says that he's been on it for 26 of 44 days, and shares the secret of enduring it: "Have an open mind, take your punishment, and swallow fast." Shit, man -- what the hell happened to Jerry in the Marines? Julie's last question is to Memphis, whom she asks who he'd bring back. Okay, that's, like, borderline fucking with his game right there. Memphis chuckles that he'd bring back Brian, just for fun. Which is probably the safest answer he could have given.

More DRs about the nominees. Keesha still hates April and wants her out. Dan talks about being a swing vote, but now he's changed his mind about whether he likes being in that position. Which is to say, he doesn't. I guess if he could make up his mind, he wouldn't be a swing vote.

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Big Brother




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