After more ads, it's time for the final two to state their cases to the jury. What could they have left to say that they haven't already said? Nothing, in Rachel's case, but she says it all again anyway, talking about how hard she competed and talking about her big game moves and strategic decisions. Heard it. Finally, mercifully, Julie tells her she's done. Porsche stands up and reminds them that they were the ones who voted for her to stay in the first week (well, except Adam). She runs down the numbers and monotones about respect, which she displays by sitting down before Julie has to shut her up.
Time for the jurors to vote, but as they walk up to the big, glowing, freestanding key box one by one, their votes won't be revealed until later. Brendon is first, joking that it's going to be a hard decision and saying he loves Rachel no matter what happens. The audience goes "aw," at least the ones who aren't choking back bile. Daniele tells Porsche she adores her, and tells Rachel, "You're lucky this isn't a personality contest." Yeeowch. But given who Daniele's dad is, she knows that better than anyone. Jeff approaches the key box and says, "I don't have anything cute to say," as cutely as he can possibly manage. Shelly says she's proud of them and loves them both, wishing them both luck before having a little trouble inserting her key in the box. Kalia hums as she approaches the key box and just says, "Pajama pajama," which must be some inside joke that never got any airtime. Jordan tells Rachel she's missed her, but that she and Porsche both "did good." Adam blusters some more about how he would have won if he hadn't thrown his goggles and gotten a chance to play in the final round and gotten to play in the final two and when he comes back for All-Stars he's going to win. Jeez, who put a quarter into this guy? Voting over. Can't we just find out who won now and be done? Please?