Big Brother
Finale 13

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Hold Your Nose and Vote

Part two, as usual, is a task that each member of the final three will do individually, taking turns. Porsche comes outside to find a fake pirate ship with a big tank of water containing game pieces showing the faces of each HoH this summer and an underwater maze. Porsche reads the instructions aloud to herself: she'll need to jump in and slide each game piece through its own winding slot so it ends up in the right order of the numbered slots The one who does it fastest goes on to compete against Rachel in part three to be the last HoH. Porsche dives right in and gets to work, narrating that although she's been doing lots of memorizing, she hasn't done much memorizing underwater. Feeling pretty stupid about that right now. Up and down she goes, pushing herself hard and getting short of breath as though her only competition, Adam, isn't going to drown thirty seconds into this. Finally she climbs out and hits her buzzer, disappointed in herself for not doing better. Does Porsche think Rachel's competing in this round too?

Here comes Adam, who knows the HoHs cold, but gets frustrated with his swim goggles and throws them away. And surprise, now he can't see underwater. So he's got to climb out and go after them, which is an ingenious use of time. But at least he ends up finishing, which is better than I thought he'd do

Finally, they're both standing in front of Rachel, who reveals their respective times. Adam did it in six minutes, three seconds, but Porsche did it in 3:50, so it's going to be her and Rachel in the final round of the HoH competition, and Adam can only hope that whoever wins will decide to take him to the final two. Well, it's worked for him so far.

Time for the completely staged back-patio discussion at the jury house. Brendon, Jeff, Daniele and Shelly sit on cushy lawn furniture and wonder who's coming next. Kalia wanders back to join them, imitating a muted trumpet of failure. She sits down and is still explaining how Rachel won the next HoH when Jordan totters in on high heels. She's actually the least surprised person there, and Shelly remarks that the final three are Porsche, Adam and Rachel. I still can't entirely believe that myself.

So now it's time to talk about who "deserves" to win. Jordan names Rachel, for playing hard and winning lots of competitions. I can't stand Rachel, so you don't know what it costs me to agree with Jordan. Daniele calls Rachel out as a hypocritical floater, which of course Brendon defends her for. Kalia agrees that Rachel's had an uphill road throughout the game and thus deserves the win, but Shelly is still having trouble with Rachel on a personal level, which opens her up for an attack from Jordan about the shit Shelly used to talk about other people. Daniele says Rachel's behavior's on a different level. Jeff points out they had chances to get Rachel out if she's so bad, and Daniele points out that she tried. As for the other two players still in there, Jeff reminds everyone that he never talked to Porsche, because he's still not over that. Kalia argues the merits of keeping a low profile in the game like Porsche did, but Jordan and Jeff aren't buying it. But at least they all agree that she's a superstar at the game compared to Adam. Actually, Jeff and Jordan argue for Adam's loyalty, which I'm sure they would value equally had Adam been loyal to someone other than themselves. Daniele dubs Adam the inaugural member of a new category: "Piggybacker." Shelly annoys Kalia by claiming she and Porsche were playing Daniele's game, and Kalia ends up in a shouting match with Jeff. "Meeting adjourned," Brendon smirks. Best thing he ever did.

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Big Brother




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