Big Brother
Finale 13

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Hold Your Nose and Vote

Porsche's family is also in the studio. A very dude-centric group. It's time for the final round of the last HoH competition, which is going to happen live in the living room. Porsche and Rachel stand at quiz-show podiums separated by a partition, while Adam sits in his accustomed place by the sidelines, willing his pre-birthday goatee to grow back already now that he's shaved his slowly returning beard off his cheeks.

So, Julie will give the remaining competitors dual-choice questions about how each jury member completed a given statement. That starts with Brendon, who said the moment he's most afraid to have his friends and family see is A) the second time he got evicted, and not B) sucking at endurance competitions. Kind of unfair to ask them both a question about one person's fiancé, but then they both answer B, and they both get it wrong. Fairly embarrassing for Rachel, especially since she pretty much accepted the premise of the second option. The next question is Daniele's opinion of the most shocking moment in the house: Brendon's return, or her dad's early exit? They both answer A at first, but Rachel changes it to B and gets it right. Next: was Shelly's fatal mistake turning against Jeff and Jordan or voting Jeff out a week too soon? Shelly's answer is B), and they both get it wrong. [Note: This is infuriating, considering that every correct answer is the most obvious one. Rachel is lucky that Porsche is so horrible at using her brain. -- RS.] Jeff's question is a no-brainer, because he says the best part was getting to spend the summer with Jordan. They both flip their answer boards in record time but get it wrong anyway, overestimating how much Jeff enjoyed getting rid of Daniele. Next is whether Kalia said the biggest lie of the season was A) Adam's loyalty to the newbies or B) anything Shelly said. Porsche guesses A and Rachel B, and Rachel gets it right, so Julie decides the rest of the competition would be a sham and crowns Rachel the final HoH. Rachel cries as though she's already won the half-million, which, to be fair, she probably has. Julie gives her a minute to get her shit together and informs her that she'll be naming the final evictee shortly. Unless of course she has an aneurysm during the ads, which looks entirely possible.

And there's Adam's family, including who I assume is a brother who looks like he was in Snatch. By now, things have settled down in the living room, with Rachel still looking shell-shocked and Porsche and Adam in the nominee chairs. Porsche pleads her case to Rachel first, saying they started as allies and ended that way, and she hopes Rachel will take her to the final two. Adam starts with a metal shout-out, of course, and reminds Rachel of her contempt for floaters, making a big deal out of his loyalty over Porsche's. "Sorry, had to do it," he says to Porsche, as though he did her any damage at all. "Whoa, Adam," Julie says as he sits back down. Julie reminds Rachel that she's a lock for at least the $50,000 second prize, and asks her if she's ready to make her half-million dollar decision. "No," Rachel titters. "Too bad," Julie intones.

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Big Brother

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