Big Brother
Finale 13

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Hold Your Nose and Vote

Julie suddenly remembers that other evictees are sitting near dick, and asks Cassi what the biggest surprise was when she was watching from home. "How darn cute Adam is underneath that beard!" Cassi cracks. But she was totally fooled by Shelly. Julie gives Shelly a chance to rebut, and Shelly says she wasn't fooling about how much she loved Cassi, but she had to play a social game, admitting it was sometimes dishonest. Julie decides to give Jeff a crack at that, and Jeff admits that he and Shelly kind of made up in the jury house, or at least "put it aside." Julie asks Kalia about her tongue-biting strategy, and invites her to un-bite it now that she's not playing the game any more. Kalia says she held back a lot, but all she says for now is that no matter what anyone else thinks, she played her own game and not Daniele's. Jeff gets yet another chance to talk as Julie asks him how he feels about Daniele now. Jeff tries to be diplomatic before admitting that he and Daniele don't like each other. So enough group therapy; Julie breaks the news that there's still the $25,000 America's Favorite Houseguest to be announced, not that most of them are going to win it. Oh, and thanks for showing up, Keith, Dominic and Lawon, not that you ever got to say a word. Although in Keith's case that's probably to his advantage.

When we come back from the ads, Julie is standing over the final key box to reveal the votes. She tells Rachel and Porsche, who I was beginning to forget existed after all this time, that she's about to reveal the votes, and they need at least four to win. Time to start drawing the keys. Brendon voted for Rachel, Daniele voted for Porsche, and Jeff voted for Rachel. No surprises so far, and then we see that Shelly voted for Rachel. It's 3-1, and Rachel's one vote away from the half-million, with Jordan's vote yet to be "revealed." The gap narrows with the revelation that Kalia voted for Porsche, but of course Jordan voted for Rachel, so we have a winner. Dammit.

Rachel and Porsche head out into the studio amid the traditional storm of golf confetti, and Brendon picks Rachel up into one of those already-too-short-skirt-hiking hugs he's always giving her. Then it's just a big, loud scrum of everyone hugging everyone else, a quick, silent shot of the fish tank and Julie reminding us to come back to find out who America's Favorite Houseguest is. Why doesn't anyone ever ask me my favorite houseguest? It's none of these people, that's for damn sure.

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Big Brother

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