When we come back, Julie reveals that the final vote, Adam's, went to Porsche, so Rachel won it in a squeaker, which makes me feel a little better. I mean, Rachel deserved it more than Porsche, even if Rachel is a much bigger dick than Porsche is. I'm big enough to admit that. Julie presents Porsche with Adam's cardboard key like the world's worst booby prize before remembering she also gets fifty grand, and then Julie opens the envelope with the name of America's Favorite Houseguest. It's Jeff, who tries to act surprised and fails miserably. And that's it for BB13. See you next July, for another summer of ill-thought-out twists, blatant manipulation, interminable stretches of inaction and undeserving, self-righteous morons. I can't wait, can you?
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.