Big Brother
Big Brother

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 461 USERS: C+
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Six Fingers, And None Of Them Worked

But whatever sympathy I have for Diane drains away as she lies on the bed, wailing that she's "not a cutthroat person," and she doesn't belong here with these bad people. In a charmingly random moment, she says that she's not mean or conniving anymore. She used to be, but she's not now. And why? "I killed all my brain cells because I SMOKED TOO MUCH POT!" she hollers. And then she laughs at herself, although I suspect not in the "laugh because I'm only kidding, ha ha" way. Now, she's making Nakomis cry. Maybe Nakomis misses pot. Marcellas sits through this entire scene, just staring at Diane, like he's trying to think of what actress she looks like. Nakomis warily DRs that Diane has a way of making everyone feel sorry for her, which obviously presents an issue in terms of voting. They're friends, but not the kind of friends where you get over your basic "better her than me" instinct.

Mike comes in to try to feel Diane up in her time of need, and he's wearing his "Chill Town" shirt with "Boogie" on the back, so you know that he's bringing out the big guns as far as romance. Mike swears on their "future friendship" that there was no deal between him and Will and Kaysar. The editors helpfully blue-and-white that there was, too. I think Mike sort of thinks he's telling the truth, though, because he does talk about Kaysar's decision to go after "floaters." I suspect his justification for saying there was no deal is that he's pretty sure Kaysar was going to nominate her anyway and was just looking for some free benefits from talking to Will and Mike, which is probably just about accurate. I don't think Mike and Will changed Kaysar's mind by going along with anything. Diane talks to Mike about having to try to get the veto, and how sad that would be if it means that Nakomis went home. Mike gives his Krista Redux DR speech that he never would have met Diane in his normal life (where would he meet reality TV people, after all?), but he's "enjoyed getting to know her." Run, Diane! He's totally going to propose! Do you really want to be Mrs. Boogie?

Will and Mike have a chat in the food room, and Will explains that he was talking so much about being happy to be nominated that he now wonders whether that's why he wasn't nominated. And then Will and Mike do an odious little piece of DR vaudeville in which they pantomime a phone call where Mike tells Will that Kaysar didn't nominate either of them, and they laugh hysterically. As much as I enjoy an animated Will, and as much as I've been lamenting this grumpy, dull Will, that's not as funny as they think it is. Mike informs us that he and Will are strong because they "play with no fear." Except, of course, the fear of aging, which plagues them both to a foreign-substance-injecting, headband-wearing degree.

Big Brother

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