Big Brother
Goodnight, (Daughter Of The) Moon

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Six Fingers, And None Of Them Worked

Warning: I've been traveling so much that I'm about as punchy as a ten-year-old at an eight-year-old brother convention, but let's take a deep breath and see just where we are, folks.

Sunday

What I like about Big Brother is that contestants have a tendency to talk about themselves in the third person. They are Bob Dole. They are Rickey Henderson. It gives them a much-needed sense of gravitas, because nobody has gravitas like Bob Dole and Rickey Henderson, which is why America long ago solved its longstanding problems with erectile dysfunction and stealing second base. And that's what I like about Big Brother.

Alison is evicted in blue and white, and Janelle smugly chuckles that now she's "really safe" because the only person who wanted her out is gone. Way to read a room, Giggles McTwit. Rather horrifyingly, Danielle joins those who are revisiting the shtick of yore when she says, "One week down, and eleven more to go." Wow. I didn't even like the countdown the first time. Now, it's lame and old. And it's not Brian Dennehy old, you know? It's like Hume Cronyn old. Well, Hume Cronyn before he died. But just barely. Everyone watches Alison's picture turn black and white. Dramatic! They might as well set your picture on fire, like on Hell's Kitchen.

Marcellas hugs the rescued Danielle in the Living Room Of Insincerity with all the passive-aggressive hate he can muster. He DRs that the BB6 goofballs promised him that they'd go after Danielle if he voted with them to boot Alison. That explains the hate-hugging. Then Janelle, who of course nominated Danielle, comes into the bedroom to congratulate her on staying. I would administer at least seventeen punches in the face per week if I lived in this house. Janelle further smugs in the DR that "everything seems to be working out perfectly." She seriously is a perfect size six, is wearing a gold lavalier her parents gave her, and is not named Elizabeth. Danielle asks Janelle who the two people voting for her were, and Janelle says that it was Diane and someone else. Danielle tells us that her strategy this week is going to be kissing Janelle's ass. Well, sucking up to Janelle never happens, so that will be a change of pace.

For her part, Diane DRs that it was pretty obvious she and Nakomis were the votes against Danielle. Not to Danielle, I guess. Nakomis does the post-mortem as well, DR-ing she found out too late that everybody else was switching and didn't get to vote with the majority, which left her in a bad position.

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Big Brother

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