Big Brother
Goodnight, (Daughter Of The) Moon

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Six Fingers, And None Of Them Worked

Mike and Diane pair up, and he explains in a DR session that she's one of his potential partners for a "showmance." It's like watching the creepiest old dude at a concert try to hit on one of the girls at the concessions stand. Seriously, it's that bad. James and Nakomis partner up, and he thinks that since the outfits resemble a chain gang, he's good having the girl with the "prison tats." Will and Erika start by getting themselves a couple of rats. Nakomis, on the other hand, mistakes her bandanna for a rat and brings that back in her teeth instead. For the most part, things proceed from there without incident, in spite of the editors' attempts to make it all incredibly loony, and the non-S6 team -- for once -- winds up taking the victory. This means that Will and his friends are eating good, and Janelle, Howie, James, Marcellas, Danielle, and Nakomis are eating slop. Oh, and I should mention the tense moment where Diane finds herself being shoved into the slop face-first by Mike. Come to think of it, that does remind me of certain men I've known, so maybe Mike is on track for his showmance, after all. Fingers crossed! After the fact, Marcellas complains that it was Nakomis's fault they lost. Janelle says that the slop "reminds [her] of prison food." Which she ate when she was convicted of being too darn lovable.

Jase thinks that the slop is going to be way worse than peanut butter and jelly. IT'S OATMEAL. Jesus, people. There's a big scene designed to be like a horror movie, with the big bubbling pot of slop inside, and the scary music, and they have to eat oatmeal and WHAT WILL THEY DO? OH, MY GOD? Marcellas immediately announces that he's not eating, and Danielle says that she won't either until her body tells her she has to. Diane isn't sure eating oatmeal is "sanitary." That will come as a surprise to the people at Quaker. Wilfred Brimley is really mad. Janelle isn't sure how she will survive. I'm at least glad this is giving them all a reality check that peanut butter and jelly was seriously not bad at all, because they were such huge babies about that. Howie says that he's going to become slim now that he won't want to eat anything. Yep. A week ought to do it.

Filler segment: Chicken George wants to be a Jedi. Howie agrees to train him. It is exactly as intelligent as you are thinking. Howie tells George to let go of his hate, which perhaps we should all try to do, although I'm not sure I see it happening for myself. "Howie, that guy's all right, man," George says, insisting that Howie has "a good heart." This segment goes on too long, and I could have lived without the part where Howie talked about Erika's "great rack." I'm not sure how much that has to do with being a Jedi, unless something really unusual happened in the last couple of Star Wars movies I elected not to see.

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Big Brother

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