Big Brother
Goodnight, Sweet Chicken

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Goodnight, Sweet Chicken

I love the compressed episodes. They really give you an idea of what this show would be like if things happened.

After a million "previously"s and some yammering from Julie, we slide-guitar into the moments right after Daniele and her hot pants announced that neither of them would be using the veto. Jameka DRs that she considers Jessica one of her best friends in the house, so she won't be campaigning against her to stay, regardless of whether that means her "demise," because she's just that much better a person than you would be. (I'm paraphrasing.) Jessica -- looking extremely busty in a camisole and choker (CHOKER?) -- DRs that she had two opportunities last week to get rid of Dick or Daniele and didn't, so she's hopeful that they'll remember that come voting time.

"Jessica has to go this week," Dick tells Daniele. Obviously. Daniele looks kind of distressed about it (as distressed as she ever looks with that caveman forehead of hers), and Dick lies that it's "stressing" him out, too. They briefly mention how much Eric's going to cry when Jessica goes. They decide, though, to extort a deal out of Jameka, and Dick elaborates in the DR that he's going to tell Jameka right away that she'll be evicted this week, and then "ten minutes" before the live episode, he's going to pull her aside and offer her a deal, which she will take.

The next thing we see is Dick putting Phase 1 of this plan in motion. Seriously, it looks like this happens about ten minutes after the Veto Ceremony; the sun is high and Jameka's still in the same outfit. Dick's like, "You're going this week. Wanna talk about it?" Jameka's like, "Not with you, because you are gross" (again, I'm paraphrasing) and takes off. In the DR, Jameka cries, and enumerates all the people she's playing for, ending by saying she's not ready to go.

Next, some time has passed, and Jameka finds Jessica outside to tell her what Dick told her. Jessica doesn't seem especially excited to hear the news, and Jameka doesn't sound like she entirely believes it anyway.

Then Jessica is lying out when Eric comes oozing out to talk to her. She tells him what Jameka told her, and Eric's like, "See?!" His point is that if Dick and Daniele wanted either Jessica or Eric to go, the two of them would have been nominated, instead of Jessica and Jameka. In the DR, he pretends to be confident that Dick and Daniele will be true to their word. And why on earth would he think they wouldn't be?

America's Player time. America decides not to fuck with Eric, and orders him to vote out Jameka. Eric is relieved; he needs "fighting this battle by [his] side." Dude, it's not Normandy. Calm down.

Eric takes Daniele outside and asks her -- as a friend, and not because he's going to try to change her mind or anything -- whether she'll be voting out Jessica. Daniele takes about ten minutes to answer, and then does so with her terrible poker face of a grin, "No, you're good." So convincing! Eric's even sweatier than usual as he says that Jessica would kill him if she knew he was doing this, but he's begging Daniele for Jessica's life. Daniele: "No worries." I swear, I cannot believe Eric bought this shit. She's not even trying.

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Big Brother

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