Big Brother
Goodnight, Sweet Chicken

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now!
Goodnight, Sweet Chicken

Back from commercial, Julie suggests that we listen to the "last-minute strategies," but we can't hear a goddamn thing amid all the whispering and hissing, and then Dick very efficiently nominates Jameka and Eric, of course.

So the veto competition requires everyone to put on helmets and goggles and pads as thousands of balls come flying at their faces. Great, another competition geared to Daniele's strengths. But I kid! Each houseguest has a tube, into which they need to place only green balls. Daniele spends basically the entire time whining and squealing about how much pain she's in and how she can't see anything. Jameka finds the first green ball; shortly, she's up to three. For a while, the rest of the contestants don't really have much of a showing at all, and then Zach gets up to four, and then Julie says, "Jameka's up to five," except we can clearly see that one of those is blue. It apparently takes a few minutes for a PA to point this out to Julie, so when she breaks in to report that Zach's ball count is up to five, she adds that Jameka is disqualified for putting a blue ball in her tube. Jameka keeps playing as she says something about Eric that I can't quite make out, and then anxiously tells Julie that she didn't put a blue ball in her tube -- it fell in -- and that Julie must check the tape. But before long, it's a moot point; nine-foot Zach (who had even more of an advantage in this game of flying balls than Daniele did) has filled his tube, winning the Power of Veto (and becoming Master Cylinder). Julie: "Will the nominations change?" Y'all, I don't think Julie watches this show.

After commercials, Dick is checking out his necklace, which apparently broke during the competition (that's the universe's way of telling you to quit wearing man-jewellery, ass), and then it's time for the meeting. Jameka holds up the works by taking too long peeing or something, but soon enough she's there, pleading her case. She breathlessly says that she's still not ready to leave (even less ready than she was forty minutes ago, if you can imagine that) and that she still has a lot to contribute to the house, whatever that means. Honey, it's not Survivor. They're not going to keep you because you're the best at cooking manioc or always gather firewood. As she sits down, huffing, it's clear that Jameka is not equal to the accelerated pace of this episode. Whereas I? Love it. Eric manages to sound both weak and superior: "This house? This game? These people? Zach, I have no expectation that you're going to use this, but vote smart, guys. I have no friends on this jury, I haven't won a competition in weeks. Give me a fair chance to play this game." But, obviously, Zach's not going to change shit.

After commercials, Dick and Daniele are, like, 8000 on the Smug-o-Meter. It's gross. Eric and Jameka, dancing for their lives. Jameka's not wild about being nominated this many times in a row. The voters should think about what move will get them further in the game, and remember that she's a woman of her word. I don't know why she thinks that's going to cut any ice with at least 50% of the voters (the girl constituency), but I guess it kind of is her only play. Eric is disappointed and surprised to be nominated. He's been good to the three non-nominees, he says, but then he has to be a bitch about it by adding that it was because he believed what they told him, and now, tonight, his trust has been broken, but hey, they should vote to keep him anyway! I guess his argument is that they should keep him so they can win him back over? Shut up, Eric.

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Big Brother




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