Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: D | Grade It Now!
Been There, Seen That

Memphis and Dan have commenced a memory-lane tour of the house, visiting the bedroom that April and Ollie shared. Dan warns Memphis not to touch the bedspread, but it's too late; we're already in a flashback to Day 14 and looking at April and Ollie crammed full-length against each other, talking about their relationship, and then there's the scene shown on the night of April's eviction, where they hung out in the pool and decided to live together. Alas, we do not also get the clip from April's Chenterview where she basically told Julie, "not so much."

Dan and Memphis have moved on to the room where Keesha and Renny had their home base. They talk about what a skilled mimic Renny was, and finally we get to a little more of the "unaired" footage Julie's been talking about this past week. On Day 20, Renny cracks up the room (and, okay, me) with a bleary-eyed impression of Libra. She also does Dan (waving her arms around while babbling), Jessie (doing a bodybuilder pose), Jerry (pretending to brush dentures in the sink), and April (flouncing around and cleaning everything like Monk with tits). So Dan raids Renny's wardrobe and gives some of it right back to her, which of course had her laughing harder than anyone. Back in the present, Dan also talks about his "mom away from mom" relationship with Renny and how he used to make fun of her whenever he had the chance. That triggers kind of a poor example of this, when Dan and Renny were arguing about what time it was in New Orleans and he was being fairly straightforward and reasonable with her while waiting patiently for her to come around. Really, Renny did that one to herself.

Dan also talks about his relationship with Keesha, which is illustrated by a hypothetical that he posited to her on Day 44: "To save Gizmo's (Keesha's dog) life, would you eat another dog?" Sadly, we never hear Keesha's answer. There's also a montage of Dan antagonizing Keesha like he was her little brother, with gags like jumping out and scaring her, dropping ice cubes down her back, and smearing food on her. Girlfriend is lucky there wasn't an inkwell in the house, or her pigtails would have gotten a few chunky lowlights. Memphis brings up the awkwardness that reigned on Keesha's birthday, and we flash back to that big multilateral fight in Day 25. Okay, this as a long clip, and I'm just going to start zipping through this crap. We saw it, I wrote about it, you read it, let's move on.

Dan and Memphis have returned to the Memory Wall to do some more reminiscing. Apparently on Day 12, there was some kind of "variety hour" where everyone dressed up in goofy outfits and Dan acted like a smarmy talk show host. All I will say about this is that about a minute in, it becomes clear why it never made it to air. Dan and Memphis then discuss Ollie's fear of birds, and that crow-induced panic attack Ollie had on Day 35 (complete with flashback, natch). Then there's some stuff we've never seen before about how Dan tried to teach Renny and Ollie how to swim, and Dan half-seriously speculates that maybe Ollie will consider the swimming lessons to be worth half a million dollars. Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what was going through Ollie's mind when he was evicted less than an hour after Michelle. "I've just been fucked with my pants on, but I can sort of fake an Australian crawl."

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Big Brother




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