Big Brother
Have You No Decency?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: D | Grade It Now!
Poetic Justice's Evil Twin

James, looking shifty and unshaven, does his usual babble that he got screwed in the first couple of weeks when he put up Jase and then Janelle refused to put up Will and Mike because of her weird thing about Diane. (That's, incidentally, not looking like such a brilliant move these days.) Of course, the response James has given is a response to why he changed alliances, and doesn't do much to account for calling Janelle a "fat piece of shit." Shut up, James. Janelle being a big phony doesn't make you suck any less. As we are learning all over the place tonight, it's not a zero-sum game. Usually, that means that everyone can win, but it also means everyone can lose, as in this situation.

Jase uses his moment in the sun to make a fake phone call to Diane, which is completely unfunny, in which they reveal what everyone already knew, which is that they were in a pre-show alliance. No one cares anymore, dinks. Neither one of you even made it to the jury. Why would we care if you were in a totally ineffectual alliance with each other? What did said alliance do? Oh, right. Not a thing. NEXT! Julie asks about Will and Mike's game. Jase calls Will "the mayor of Chill Town," which is true, and depressing, and exactly why I no longer ever want to see him on television again. He may be entertaining, he may have been the most enjoyable part of a lame season, but...he's the mayor of Chill Town. King of the dipshits. Not really...such a great thing, that.

Julie plays all the Mike/Will phone calls in the DR, and everyone laughs. Oh, those scamps. Men who lie and laugh behind your back are so funny. Women who lie are so horrible. They're not loyal to anyone.

Now, Julie asks for a show of hands from the early evictees about which of them believes that the most deserving people made it to F2. Obviously, no one does. "Boogie, kind of," Diane says. Of course, if you have a compass that allows Mike to be judged "deserving" of anything other than a psychiatric evaluation or a prison term, it seems to me that there's something amiss in the code you're following. Nakomis says that her F2 would be Janelle and Will, and everyone applauds. Go, cool kids! Maybe they'll let us sit with them!

And now, the show reaches its high point of car-wreck-chasing cruelty when it specifically calls on Alison to fill in "Erika and Mike" (by which it means "Erika") on events from inside the house. "I'd really like to tell Erika that she was played all summer long," Alison gloats. So with that remark -- on that note, on that fuck-Erika, let's-see-her-cry note -- Erika and Mike come up on the plasma screen, sitting inside the house. Julie tells them that Alison has something to say to Erika. "Hi, guys," Alison says cheerfully. She congratulates Erika for making it to F2, and then she says, "Mike Boogie, congratulations. You played Erika the whole season long! Better than Big Brother, you played that girl. Erika, I hope you use that money and buy yourself some dignity."

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Big Brother




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