Will and Nicole confab in the living room. "Don't you want to make [It'sOnica] stay? She's already packed her bags," Nicole says. "Yeah, that would be cool," Will laughs. He's feeling bad about voting out Krusta, though. She likes them, he points out. "And that's good, how?" Nicole snorts. Nicole is so fucking smooth. She's, like, the Amanda Woodward of the Big Brother house, all controlling everyone in her path, all manipulating everyone for her own purposes. I love that. I guess, of course, this analogy makes Will Dr Michael Mancini -- who was, by the way, my favorite of the Melrose Place characters, which I suppose goes a long way to explaining my fascination/lurve of Evil, Evil Will. And, of course, Bunky, as the token gay guy, is Matt. And Hardly is certainly Billy: good-looking, but constantly slack-jawed. And Krusta is Allison, since she had a tempestuous relationship with Hardly/Billy, and has serious problems with booze. And It'sOnica is clearly Kimberly, since she's crazy, and she wears wigs. Wow, I'm rather proud of that analogy. Anyway, Will tries to curry favor for Krusta, saying that she might help them get rid of Hardly later. Nicole astutely points out that if Krusta stays and gets HoH, Nicole is gone. Will suggests that they run the same risk with It'sOnica, but Nicole makes the salient point that if they can't beat It'sOnica in an HoH competition, they deserve to get booted. Will laughs. "I like that mentality. I didn't think of it that way," he says. "We have to get HoH back to back to back to back," he points out. Nicole: "Duh." Will sits there for a sec, and then wonders if Nicole could nominate Hardly. She says she could. "That's so fucked up! I love it!" Will crows.

Filler time: a little featurette entitled When Will Met Nicole. This is cute, I guess, but we know this story -- having, you know, watched the show. It goes something like this: hate, hate, grudging respect, evil love. The highlights of this particular spate of filler are, of course, the Willisms: "Every girl I know is a girlfriend of mine" is my favorite, although "Nicole and I don't have that much in common, but one thing we do have in common is that we're both attracted to me" runs a close second. I can't help it. I love that cocky bastard. Post-featurette, the Dastardly Duo lolls on the bed in the Bat Cave, make fun of "it's on!" and chat about Krusta. The puppetmaster music swells affectingly in the background. I wipe a tear of happiness from my eye. Later, Will sprawls in the Diary Room and points out that he hopes Nicole trusts him, but if she does, she shouldn't, because he tried to evict her once, and he's going to try to do it again at some point. Genius! Evil, evil, genius. I do, however, think that Nicole is far too smart to trust Will entirely.