Big Brother
It's On!

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It's On!

Nicole yammers some more to the effect that Will and Hardly must vote the way they've all planned, or Krusta will come back to bite them all in the ass.

It turns out that sweet little Bunky's accidentally clued Krusta in to her impending demise. See, Krusta wants to buy a marble slab for her mama's tombstone, and Bunky weepily told her that, no matter what happens, he'll make sure she gets it. Aw, how nice is that? Krusta might be skanky, but her mama deserves a tombstone. I'm sorry, everyone, but I don't hate her anymore. Her mom died when she was fourteen, and she was an orphan at Christmas! That's so sad. Also, I'm a sap. ["You are! I'm so sure Krusta would buy her mother a tombstone when just a week ago she screwed over her own child to send $100 worth of flowers to MIKE GODDAMN BOOGIE. She is full of it!" -- Wing Chun] And how nice is that Bunky? He's kind of emotional, but his heart's in the right place. He's certainly the only houseguest with whom I'd feel comfortable leaving my child, for example. If I had a child.

Bunky tells Nicole that Krusta knows she's out. Nicole decides that someone must have spilled the beans. Everyone denies it, of course, because none of them did spill the beans; Krusta was just able to put two and two together. Admittedly, that is a pretty shocking development.

Will continues to feel all guilty about booting Krusta. He asks Nicole, again, if he may give her a sympathy vote. Nicole sticks to her guns, and denies him.

Filler. No one trusts anyone. We know that. People cry. Everyone hates everyone. I don't care. Monica is nuts. It's on.

Family time! Both Krusta's brother and It'sOnica's sister seem totally normal and charming and well spoken and attractive and diplomatic. ["Except for the fact that Krusta's brother killed their dad." -- Wing Chun] God only knows what happened to It'sOnica and Krusta.

Julie points out that we're at the halfway point. Of the show itself, not this particular episode. Everyone hugs. I thank God.

Next, the houseguests share what they'd do with the money, should they win. Krusta would help this one poor dude in her town. Easy for her to say; the poor dude probably doesn't have a TV, so he won't be all disappointed when she doesn't come through with that. Bunky says that he would put his nieces and nephews through college. Monica would give her father enough money to retire, so that he can be on, twenty-four hours a day. Will grins and asserts that he wants to buy gold chains and jet skis. Krusta tells us about her mama's tombstone again. Nicole would finish renovating her house. Will adds jewelry and pork bellies to his list. Hardly muses that he'd buy his brother a Harley. Hardly, Tina already bought Colby a Harley. Krusta would buy stuff for Laken. And a car. And a house. And that's all of Krusta's money, what with the poor dude, and the house, and the car, and the tombstone, and the toys for Laken, all her cash is gone and she's going to have to go back to Ray's. Bunky sniffles that he's already won Big Brother, because he's grown so much as person. Also, it's an honor just to be nominated.

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Big Brother

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